A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I am a young female and i have been in a faithful relationahip with my bf for almost 4 years. Sex was great for the first 2 years. Hes gained weight and sex was painful for me. We havent had sex for months. I look at lesbian porn i!dont like all the kissing and ect just the (trying find a way to word this) oral part of it. I am not attracted to girls in the slightest and i masturbate to the porn i watch. Does this make me wierd? Do i need help i find it quite embarrassing and just wondered if u could give me advice or make me feel as thought what i am doing isnt wrong...or is it
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, RevMick +, writes (12 May 2014):
 Hi,
Not a female agony aunt, but hope the advice is still welcomed.
I don't believe you're weird for a second. Lesbian porn is more about the touching, foreplay and intimacy of two people in the sexual environment than straight porn.
I think you are missing the intimacy of your boyfriend/partner and wish he would take more time for the foreplay than the act itself.
I think your boyfriend will have lots of issues within his own mind, he may be worried you don't find him as attractive now he has gained a little or lot of weight. He will be nervous or anxious about your love life and that could lead to depression and a sexless relationship.
I would sit down as adults and try to work through any issues, you and he have in a non-judgmental way. To focus on porn rather than fix any underlying issue is not a good thing. However a bit of porn on occasions is no harm.
As an after thought, why not include your partner in watching with you. Let him touch and help you masturbate, you can lead with encouraging words when he does something you really like.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 May 2014): I don't think it makes you weird at all. I think a lot of women who watch porn prefer lesbian porn because it focuses much more on sexual acts that women find pleasurable e.g. kissing and cunnilingus than "straight" porn. It doesn't mean that you're a lesbian or that you have lesbian tendancies or anything
So long as your porn use isn't becoming a daily habit and it's simply an occasional pleasure to stop you from becoming sexually frustrated, it's fine. It shouldn't get in the way of other aspects of your life
I still think you should work on your sexual problems with your husband though. Most people aren't happy in a sexless marriage. And many women hate it when their husbands appear to enjoy masturbating to porn rather than having sex with them so I'm sure that men would feel the same. Especially if he's still interested in having sex with you
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A
female
reader, WhenCowsAttack  +, writes (11 May 2014):
Nope, not weird! Many of us women do that. I have since I was much younger, but I tried sex with women a couple times and was not comfortable with it. I've learned to leave it fto the role I want it to play in my life- fantasy only!
Love yourself, it is pretty normal.
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