A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi there,Back again for some advice! I wrote here before about my ex he found the question and also found out I was sexually abused and a whole bunch of stuff about my abusive past I had never told him. He couldn't get past it and dumped me in a pretty awful way. Just basically called me every name under the sun said I should be disgusted in myself and left. I meet heard from him again after 2 and a half years! That's a bit of background so when I ask this question you guys have a bit of history. I was upset for about a day and I got over it pretty quick. This was a few months ago and I have been seeing a few people asked to be official bf gf with two separate guys an I just don't want to. The sex is good but I just don't want to hold hands, kiss or anything like that. Does that mean I am hung up on my ex? Has it just not hit me yet that it's over or was he just so goddamn mean to me I have no self respect or want to be loved by anyone?I am so confused I have never been alone I have always had a partner the longest I have been single is a few weeks now I just want to be alone. If you need me to give any more details I can answer just ask if it will help me get better advice. Also I got I therapy once a week it ended a few months ago maybe it actually worked more than I realised after 4 years of going? But that was for self harm/eating issues I had (that are much better) Thanks for any replys!
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female
reader, Rebeccaa +, writes (4 September 2013):
 I can relate to this so much!
I was in a bad relationship for a year and a half, it ended 5 months ago, and he was abusive, it ended with him cheating on me.
Unfortunately i did go straight to a rebound, which only lasted for a month, and now i'm on my own and have been for four months, and i'm happier than i ever was. Guys have approached me since but i just do not want a relationship i'm enjoying being on my own. Your situation sounds the same as mine!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (3 September 2013): Guess what? Your therapy has kicked in, and you're realizing that you don't need to always be in a relationship.
Not only was it therapy, it was your own strength and self-resolve. You look for help when you need it; but the important thing is you put it into practice. That is a major breakthrough. Ask anybody!
You got over your ex, realizing he behaved so badly. The worst thing you could have done, is get involved in a rebound relationship. Go running to another man out of desperation.
You didn't need a make-believe romance to fill-in for what you ended. So holding hands and all that wasn't necessary ;because not only did you not want it. YOU DIDN'T NEED IT!
All you needed was some distraction and the company of a man. You felt like socializing or dating. For the fun, not because you had some emotional need.
You weren't needy and looking for a new relationship. Give yourself some credit, my dear.
Don't go thinking there is something wrong with you for wanting some freedom and independence. You kicked a jerk to the curb. Never second-guess yourself for that.
Yes you do want to be alone; because your ex was abusive, and you also wanted out of a bad situation.
You now realize you can survive on your own. It was always there inside you. Now you've found it; and it has become a tool for your survival.
How does it feel to be so strong?
Good, huh?
Sometimes it takes a push over the edge; then we fly before we hit the ground.
Maybe others may want more details; but I see a healthier young woman who isn't needy, and will no longer tolerate any abuse from any man.
All I can say is, you go girl!
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