A
male
age
26-29,
*am Wilson
writes:So right of the bat... I know i'm kindoff selfish for having this very problem but i just need the opinion of others to be sure. Ive asked a question in this site about over a week ago about me and my month-long girlfriend breaking up...and as hard it was for me to give her the space i know she wants and deserves, the inevitable happened, i had a paper to right in my class at uni and really needed to go to the library where she worked. I knew to myself that i could just ask for my friends to check out the book but i just felt that this was a sign to meet her again. Well long story short...she asked how i was and it kinda slipped that i said i wasnt doing so great...i dont know what happened but she asked me out again. I know its bad to get back together with an ex but the lines here are kindoff blurred if we just had a fight or a "fake breakup" so i said yes. I knew this was my chance to win her back so during our date I arranged a surprise for her with some of my friends and sang her "What a wonderful world". Well she looked like she was touched by the gestured and said we're okay... "There's a we again, i love us".So everythings hunky dory again till yesterday when one of my friends told my exgf all about it when we were all hanging out excluding my girlfriend of course. Me and my ex had recently started being friends again and since we shared the same group of friends we had to be.Well when she knew my just left us and said she needed to go. Being the one person closest to her i knew something was wrong ive known her for years and asked her privately if something was bothering her. She said that shes hurt that when the two of us brokeup i never did anything sweet like that to win her back and said that if i did that to her she'll probably take me back, i didnt knew what to say but sorry.After all of that i know this is weird but i had a dream about my exgf and we were the ones going out again. Well this bothers me greatly because i know it devastated me when she left and if she opened up to me like that last year i would said something that would sweep her of her feet and do something grand to take her back. But im in a relationship again and is very happy. Theres a part of me that feels like im only feeling this way because she's familiar and safe...and im scared that my relationship with my current girlfriend will die out quickly like what she did before.Am i being crazy or selfish that i subliminaly want my exgf again...or is my current relationship toxic? I asked my friends but all they could say was i look happy and be content with what i have now... I love my girlfriend i can say that without a doubt and i never really knew about my feelings about my ex till it resurfaced in my dream... Im just so confused...because if im having second thoughts about my gf, does she really deserve to be with me. I tend to have a one track mind about everything and ive got dumped before for being clingy so im in uncharted waters about my feelings now. I know if my girlfriend felt like this id be extremely hurt. Do i tell her?What do you guys think. Sorry for the long post.
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (7 March 2016):
 If you are having doubts well then it is not fair on your girlfriend. Maybe you need some time alone to work out what you want. Tell your girlfriend you want a short term break to work out some issues that you have and then see how you feel when you are single again.
A
male
reader, Sam Wilson +, writes (5 March 2016):
Sam Wilson is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks for the insight. My ex left me because she said she wants to be alone for a while... she said we were still young so we had nothing to lose. We havent talked to each other for a year until this january, when we decided to be friends again for the sake of our friends.
When we made up...I met my gf and we just clicked and i know i want to be with her but i just cant help feeling i dont know if its sorry or repressed feelings for my ex...we had a fun ride.I love my girlfriend...but if im having doubts is it really love? Because honestly i never even had this feeling when i was with my ex.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (4 March 2016):
I can see why you would be afraid that your girlfriend could leave, we all have that fear, however if you left her for your ex would you not fear the same thing? Your ex broke up with you for a reason, did you ever talk to her about it? My honest opinion is that your ex is now jealous because you have moved on.
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A
male
reader, Sam Wilson +, writes (4 March 2016):
Sam Wilson is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThanks for the answers...buts thats the problem. She was the one who broke up with me before. And 2 months ago before i even met my girlfriend i would give an arm and a leg to have her back. Ive been with her for 4 years ...while ive been with my gf for only over a month and im worried she'll someday change and decide to leave me like she did last time...
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (3 March 2016): Trust me man been their done that. Your ex is jealous and wants you back because your obviously happy now. If she really wanted you all this time she could have made a move during that large window of time you have know each other.
Simply don't count the trees, eat the fruit. Stick with your girlfriend. Your ex will stick around don't worry.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty +, writes (3 March 2016):
Before telling your girlfriend anything I think you need to work out how you are feeling. Your ex was upset and told you she wished you had done something like that for her, and that will obviously make you feel guilty and bring old feelings back. This along with the dream is obviously the reasons why you are a bit mixed up. But you need to remember why she is an ex. If you are happy with your girlfriend at the moment well then that should be enough.
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