A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:My boyrfiend and I have been together for 1 1/2 years. He's been gone for a month now and I really miss him. I'm so used to seeing him all the time. We spent every day together. Now, i'm lucky if I could talk to him once/twice a week since he left for bootcamp. Some times I question whether we should stay together or not. We did the whole long distance thing before. Although we overcame this obstacle, I must say it was extremely difficult. This time, its for 4 years. I'm scared that I will wait for him for four years, and when he finally comes back, it doesn't work out. I don't want that four years to be a waste when I look back. Right now, I don't know if I should just be single and live life and hope that one day we can end up together in the future or if I should just stick it through until he comes back. With both ways, I will be taking a risk. If I let him go now, he might not be there in the future. If I stay with him now, and we break up in the future, the four years of waiting would be a waste. I'm very young and many of my girl friends think that I should be single and just live life to the fullest. But at the same time, I am in love with my boyfriend and am scared to give up what we have. I feel that many people go through this especially right now with the whole war issue. Please give me any suggestions, especially if you could relate to my situation.
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reader, anonymous, writes (23 October 2007): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI recently talked to my boyfriend on the phone. I realize I am in love with him more than ever. He still gives me the butterflies even though he is hundreds of miles away.
Of course, I still have the same questions as before but I realize that I do love with. I definitely would like to stay together for this first interval apart. I get to see him at then end of Nov/ beginning of Dec. I'm looking forward to this very much. As for now, I plan on staying with him and will see where this takes me. This time hes gone for 3 months, next time might be 6 months, and after one whole year. I'm going to try to toughen it up as much as I can because I truly do love him.
Thanks for everyone's advises and support. :)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007): Hello there,
My girlfriends in the army at present, so i can kind of relate to your situation, i haven't seen my gf in 2 months now and next week is her first time out of the army.
Unfortunately my knowledge of the American bootcamp system is lacking somewhat, so i have no idea if he will be getting time off along the way? if not it'll be very very hard, some people can live with the long distance relationship, but you'd have to be very trusting and have something special to still keep it together without seeing someone/holding someone for that long.
Personally 2 months has killed me, its gone from seeing someone every day of my life to losing them for what seems like eternity, can you just listen to some ones voice to give you comfort through 4 years of birthdays/celebrations?
Take a second to look at yourself would it be worth while staying with someone who could change when your next meet them? working scenario could change him alot, unless their so strong willed that they will not be broken into something else.
I'm not going to suggest weather to go solo or stay together because thats something you need to evaluate yourself but either way its going to be hard, breaking up with someone, or missing someone for 4 years of your life.
-UK Adam
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A
female
reader, L.O.S.E.R.  +, writes (19 October 2007):
 I think I hypothetically can kinda relate and understand your dilemma but FOUR YEARS of your life is WAY too much for ANYONE,at least I most honestly think so.I carefully thought of weather to give you this advice or not but I just feel the need to.As you wrote,you are taking a risk in both ways.It's scary and you're unsure of what to do.My advice is to talk to him and explain that it's just simply unfair out of both you and him to expect four years lasting monogamy from each other.You could agree to have an "open relationship",where you can have sex with others but still contacT...or whatever suits you both and DOESN'T include you wasting almost half decade of your best years.It's gonna be difficult getting bonded again after being separated for so long but if it is really love it's like not seing your sibling or other family member for that period...I'm trying to say:you'll both know life didn't stop between two times you saw but you'll have enough love and understanding to accept each other with the past you created during that time.Best wishes
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