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I don't want to waste my weekends. Is there a win win solution?

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Question - (19 October 2007) 2 Answers - (Newest, 19 October 2007)
A female Canada, *una~ writes:

I have been telling my boyfriend we should do more fun stuff together when we spend time together. He agreed that we should look into something cool to do during the weekend. However, he just said it without really taking any actions. To him, weekend should be a relaxing day at home which you sleep in late and have some private time to do something like playing video games.

I'm so different to my boyfriend in this perspective. I want our time together to be memorable and fun. I'd rather go out and walk around a park than stay home and surf on the internet.

I tried to tell my boyfriend about this problem and he agreed we should try some fun activities, but he doesn't actually take any action. Maybe he's too busy and stressed at work. I don't want to force him, but I don't want to waste my weekends. Is there a win win situation?

View related questions: at work, the internet, video games

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A reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2007):

I completely agree with you in the respect that if you do not make a concious effort to keep the relationship fresh, fun and interesting then it will eventually fizzle out, I think you need to explain your way of thinking to your boyfriend. Tell him that you love spending time with him and want to go out and have as much fun and experiences with him as possible.

Of course every now again it's ok to have a chill out day and sleep late but if your boyfriend is one of those people who do it every weekend he needs to change his actions now.

I was in a similar situation with my partner and I solved it by casually dropping into conversation how boring we were becoming. I said it jokily but backed it up with examples such as lie ins til 2pm, wasted days spent in our pjs or missing out on fun with friends because he'd rather play on the 360, so in a way it wasn't a joke at all. He realised straight away what I was hinting at and because he didn't want to lose me the next weekend we were busy at a rock climbing centre near where we live lol.

Good luck x x x x

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A female reader, Sweet-thing United Kingdom +, writes (19 October 2007):

Sweet-thing agony auntYes! Why don't you plan something one week-end that get you both out of the house and doing something fun? You may even have to plan something two or three more times, before he understands what your idea of "fun" really is, and starts planning a few outings on his own. But don't make the mistake of filling up every week-end with things to do. You're boyfriend has indicated that he's the type of person who needs "veg" time -- sleeping late, playing video games and not thinking, planning or doing much of anything sometimes. There are those of us who really do find that to be relaxing after a hard week. So alternate your week-ends of fun, with week-ends of vegging out at home and learn to enjoy both. You may want to read a book or watch some old movies when he's in "home-mode" that week-end and zoned out playing video games. Maybe there are a few video games that two people can play together. Think about hobbies you used to do, or have always wanted to do, and consider pursuing those on the week-ends when your b/f wants to stay at home and do nothing. It might be sketching pictures, or playing the guitar, it might even be an afternoon out shopping with one of your girlfriends -- whatever it is, it's okay to pursue different things while you're at home on the week-ends. It's all about balance. Good luck.

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