A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: *I apologize for how long this is in advance* I'm already in a relationship and love the bones of my boyfriend,I'd do anything to keep this relationship going it's the only one I've felt really works,we've been together for a year.Before I was with him I was in an on/off relationship for six years.However there is someone from my past that I just can't get passed.In 2006 I became very close friends with an now ex best friends brother 2 years younger than myself (am now 26) He had a lot of issues mostly just coming from being a young teenage boy, being lost without his father in his life and just normal everyday teenage stuff.The very first night I met him this clicked,we sat up ALL night talking about just about everything. I had/have never felt such a strong instant bond to anyone ever. We'd all hangout together myself,his sister (my now ex best friend) and a few other friends but always at the end of the night myself and Pete would stay up late after everyone was long since asleep and just talk. One night however we were alone whilst everyone else drank down stairs,I fell back on the bed laughing about something and then he just kissed me! We kissed for HOURS but in the morning it was like it never happened!We just went back to being friends and it was never spoken of again!The following year I met my now ex and I stopped hanging about so much,Pete got with a girl and they also were together long term.I would still see him from time to time and it would just be the same we'd lie in bed and talk ALL night. Like we'd never been apart.He went through a lot with his girl friend,violence(on both sides),abortion,mind games(on her side),miscarrage and major family fall outs. We would discuss that and any issues in my relationship.Around fives years ago I went to a birthday party for one of my friends in Pete's area (about 20/25 miles away)when his sister informed me that Pete had came home very drunk the night before,he'd fallen out with his girlfriend,trashed his room and cut himself up really badly (on purpose) and was now missing!! Even though my ex was there I didn't care,I had to know he was ok,it just took over me this feeling of getting to him and making sure he was ok just corsed though me.I left the party and went round the doors of all Pete's friends but to no avail! I Worried about him a lot that night and couldn't have a good time once I returned to the party.Turns out he was ok just laying low.About a month after that I stayed with him and we talked it all out! That was the last time I saw him.Two years ago a mutual friend messaged me on facebook (Pete doesn't have a facebook)to ask for my number as Pete was wanting to talk with me and invite me to a night out for his birthday we began texting about the party,it felt wonderful to talk with him again.The night of the party came and I was unable to go!He texted me saying;"Am so sad you couldn't making it tonight I really need to talk to you about something.""It's nothing!""No ok I HAVE to tell you I've always had a thing for you,no infact I've always loved you!"At this point I explained I was still with Blake (my now ex) and that I was very flattered.I couldn't respond with my true feelings as I was with my ex. I wish I had a few weeks later I found out our relationship was just a total joke to him,he cheated and he drank so much he could not remember how many times or with who but it was at least 6! However I couldn't contact Pete because my phone had subsequently been stolen!Now I live with the "What if's" and I'm never usually like that,I just take life as it comes and don't normally look back.I see his face pop up on my facebook of the mutual friend and my heart stops!!I felt so alive with him and he understood everything I said,we just connected! It was instant and like nothing I've experenced before or since. It was like finding a lost piece of myself! I DON'T believe in soul mates or any of that nonsense but if I did Pete would be MINE!!I just wish I knew what to do!Do I try to reconnect? I don't want anything sexual or a relationship,just Pete back in my life!! Although I am worried it could lead to that if we do reconnect.BTW his sister and an other girl I was best friends with just stopped talking to me four years ago and I have no idea why!! HELP!! PLEASE!!
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best friend, drunk, facebook, friend's brother, my ex, soul mates, soulmate, text Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (13 August 2014): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for your reply on reading my question again I can see that I was just romanticising the past.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (6 August 2014):
 For someone who loves he bones of her current bf, you are a bit too taken with this Pete. If you believed in soulmates Pete would be yours....wait a minute, if you believed in soulmates, shouldn't YOUR BOYFRIEND be yours ?...
You describe a crush, not a friendship. And you admit that it would most probably lead to something romantic or sexual, if you reconnected.
So- do not reconnect, if you really love and respect your bf.
Or , reconnect AFTER you have broken up with your bf, out of respect. Until you are together there should not be grey areas and potential soulmates and best- male -friends - who- are- not- really - JUST -platonic -friends ...but you also like them a lot and they like you back .
In other words, you should not try to keep your cake and eat it too. Make up your mind, which one do you really want, and choose once for all.
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