A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:A few days ago I found out my best friend was a victim of a bet. She dated a friend (let's call him X) of our very good guy friend for like two weeks and then he left her saying he has to focus on school, bla bla, some lame excuse like that. She didn't take it very well, because she started to really like him. And yesterday our friend told me that X actually only dated her because of a bet he made with his other friend. The bet was to find a girl, date her for at least 10 days and go out three times. Now I have no idea what to do. On one hand, I know that I would want to know if I was her, but on the other hand, I know how much it would hurt her. She never had much luck in the love department, and this would really destroy her already low self-esteem. We all still hang out together (rarely though), and they're always a bit flirty with each other, so I'm afraid he doesn't try to use her again, and I doubt that she could resist. Chances of her finding it out on her own are very low, our friend only told me because he was really drunk, and now begs me not to tell her anything. What do I do?
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female
reader, oldbag  +, writes (17 December 2012):
 Hi
Was in a Bar with a friend one night, a bloke came over asked if I had a cigarette,I said no,sorry. Then another from his group came over to chat to me,asked if I wanted a drink.I thought they were definately wynding me up and just said no thanks,then I went off to the ladies.
When I came out my friend said 'Ive been and talked to those men and asked if they had a Bet going on and they had,to see if you would say yes to one eventually'.Basically they were taking the proverbial,but I had already worked that out by myself,I know my limits and I told her that very clearly too.
Anyway the fact my 'friend' had gone over there and asked them,then told me, left me feeling totally humiliated. It ruined my night,I left early.I didnt want to go out for weeks.
Don't tell your friend. If this guy is going to make another move,intervene, warn him off.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (17 December 2012): I wouldn't tell her either, it will only hurt her. I would keep an eye on him though and if it looks like he is getting close to her again I would have a word with him and make it clear you will tell her everything if it looks like he is going to do anything cruel like that again. He sounds like a scumbag so the one good thing is she is rid of him.
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A
male
reader, Darrell Goodliffe +, writes (17 December 2012):
 Yes it will hurt her but your missing the third scenario which is she finds out about the bet then finds out you knew which will not only totally destroy her self-esteem but destroy your friendship probably. You say the chances of her finding out are "very low" however I doubt that to be true, are you saying the same friend will never get drunk again, never talk to somebody else about this? I find that unlikely if they told you. Secondly, she is still flitting around this guy and obviously has false hope they will hook-up again. Killing that false hope may seem cruel in the short-term and will hurt, on the other hand, in the long run its better for all concerned, he will see what a jerk he is and will hopefully come to the realisation that his behaviour had nothing to do with her which it didnt and surely in the long run thats going to help her self-esteem? Right now shes going around thinking this was all her fault a problem with her when all along it was with him. Showing her this can only be good for her.
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A
female
reader, person12345  +, writes (17 December 2012):
 I would keep it to yourself. Who knows, maybe he liked her too and they'll get back together, or not and she'll move on. Either way, the only thing telling her will do is make her feel foolish. It won't help her in any way.
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