A
female
age
41-50,
*indylee
writes:Back in '98 i went on a bus tour through Great Britain. As i stood there, waiting to find out which bus i'm on and when it leaves, i saw him and prayed that he'd be on my bus. He was! I became really close with him and his sister (who was there as well).They are from Australia and i live in Canada. Close to the end of the tour, we always sat beside each other, shared his earphones and listened to music, i even had my head on his lap while he ran his fingers through my hair. I still remember the smell of his sweater. We never did have a 'proper' goodbye (kiss, etc). Over the last 11 years, we have constantly kept in contact, via email and phone. In those 11 years, i've gotten married and divorced (to someone else-and we have a child together), but have never gotten him out of my mind. I even went to Australia on my honeymoon and saw him! And we always sign our emails 'love,'. He has since found a girl, they live together but have never married and they've been together almost 10 years. I have never told him how I've felt all these years and desperately want to. I know there was a connection between us all those years ago.Do i tell him how i've felt all these years, or is it too late?
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female
reader, Honeypie  +, writes (24 February 2009):
 If he has a partner now then I suggest you do not tell him.
What you two had was very nice and cute and all, but he has had 10 years of history, partnership & love with this woman, you really think he is going to throw that away?
And you would most likely loose the friendship the two of you have as well.
Keep it a fantasy. If he gets to be single while you are still single then maybe you can see what happens.
A
female
reader, cupid77 +, writes (24 February 2009):
 I would not tell him how you feel if I were you. He has a live in girlfriend of 10 years. If they were not serious, they would not live together. I think that if you tell him you are in love with him, it would either ruin your relationship/friendship with him, or it would cause him to become a cheater, both are horrible. It would be different if he complains about his girlfriend all the time to you, or hints he has feelings tword you, or flat out asks you how you feel. Then you can tell him that you would not date him until he was single, but you can tell him your true feelings. He should definatelly be the one to make the first move though because he is the one in a current relationship.
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A
female
reader, wonderingcat  +, writes (24 February 2009):
 This feels like a story line out of Before Sunset (2004) and Before Sunrise (1995), both with Ethan Hawke and Julie Delpy starring in it.
I suggest you find and watch these movies. Two travellers spending an incredible 24 hours together in Paris, then parted ways. He became a novelist, she a photojournalist. He wrote a best seller based on their time in Paris 10 before. She came to his book promotion tour in Paris. where they met the first time since 10 years ago. He's now married and has a son. She has a partner but never married.
My only suggestion is for you to be careful with whether or not you are romantizing your "connection" with him.
Perhaps a visit to Oz (with a girl friend for instance) would clear that up. Be prepared to face both the good and the bad outcome of that visit too though. And make sure that your girl-friend is in on the program too, otherwise you will be just using her as a crutch in the negative sense.
Good luck! Fulfilling your desires an dreams is good, but it is also better if you do not do it at the expense of others.
Cat
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