A
female
age
26-29,
anonymous
writes:Ok so ive been with my boyfriend for about 18 months now. I love him so much, he treats me like im the only girl in the world and doesnt care that i have a baby from a past relationship, he loves my little boy just as much as me. But 8 months back i cheated on him. I felt so bad but i havent told him. Me and the boy i cheated with decided not to tell anyone cos it was just a mistake. Anyway, 6 months ago i found out i was 2 months pregnant and didnt realise it. I was so excited and told my boyfriend we were expecting and he was so happy. Then i worked out the dates. There is a chance he isnt the dad, it could be the guy i cheated with. But by the time i worked this out, we had told everyone we are having a baby so i still havent told him he might not be cos all of his friends and family are excited for him.So ive told the guy i cheated with he might be the dad and now he's demanding i tell my bf cos he wants to know if hes the dad and he wants to be apart of the babies life. He came to see me the other day and i just felt this real connection between him and the baby. I dunno how to explain it but im scaredSo now i dunno what to do. Do i tell my bf and break his heart, maybe split up and have everyone hate me even though he could be the dad?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2014): Tell your BF now and face the music. It is the only morally right thing to do.
A
male
reader, SensitiveBloke +, writes (14 October 2014):
 It's time to fess up to your boyfriend and eventually get a paternity test done. He has the right to know, as does the guy you had the fling with, as does your baby.It's going to be difficult, but you really have no choice. Do the right thing.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 October 2014): It was silly telling the one night stand guy if you didn't want to tell your bf.
Not telling your bf would have been close to evil.
The other guy is going to kick up a fuss until he's got a dna test.
Now all you can do is damage control.
Hang your head low in shame and apologise, as you should, to your bf. He might or might not stay with you but that is out of your control.
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A
female
reader, Brokenv  +, writes (14 October 2014):
If you love your boyfriend like you say you do...tell him the truth.
If the baby is not his he needs to know and for the baby's sake he/she needs to know.
You don't want the guy you cheated with telling someone you love and who has loved you and your son. It would be devastating. Give him the opportunity to make his decision of wanting to be a part of this child's life whether or not it is his.
You need to get yourself together and make a decision on who you are with. If you need counselling to help with your thoughts than get it!
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A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 October 2014):
 I don't see that you have any other choice BUT telling your bf, OP. Regardless of moral obligations, which do exist - but anyway, you played your cards very clumsily.
If you wanted your bf to never know and forever think of this baby as his ( whether it is or not ) you should have kept your mouth shut with the other guy. In this way, with a bit of luck ( the baby 's blood group and your bf's blood group are compatible, the baby does not look like your lover's spitting image etc...) you could have kept your secret.
But now ? the other guy knows and claims for his rights, in case he should be the father. Do you think that when this baby is born, the other guy won't demand a DNA test, at the very least won't he come around to SEE the baby and try to assess a physical resemblance ? If you are not going to tell your bf, - the other guy will; he will make waves, if he wants to find out the truth and possibly lay claims on the baby .
I am afraid you have painted yourself into a corner and you have no choice but fessing up. Let's hope your bf finds it in his heart to forgive you. Otherwise- sorry, OP, but actions have consequences and bad actions have bad consequences. Let's also hope that , at least , this experience has taught you a big lesson, I.e. : if you can't be faithful- at least be prudent ! Use condoms AND contracception !
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