A
male
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I'm a 29 male. I have a love problem. Me and my partner have got two kids together and she sed she has fallen out of love with me and need to find herself because she know she loves me but I'm head over heels in love with her. Now they is a bloke in the mix I have confronted her about it and she knows i know and she sed their just friends but I'm scared i might lose her and i don't wanna be played. We are living together but not together and we act like a couple kiss cuddle etc. Just need some help what to do. I love her she is my world. Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (22 October 2014): I don't mean to be cruel and you may not want to hear it but she's is most likely having an affair. There are many reasons we start an affair, and I say we since I'm dealing with this issue, but once we do there is no going back. It is hard to be honest since we have a tremendous guilt and are not sure if the affair is worth giving up the marriage even though we know it's never going to be the same. Despite the others' advice-you being nice and attentive-makes her even more resentful and detached as it magnifies our guilt for not having feelings for you anymore. Please read the book "Women's Infidelity" by Michelle Langley as it may help you recognize and explain your wife's behavior. Infidelity results in extreme pain for both parties involved but only after the complete truth is out-is when you will have a chance to move on-whether to re-commit or let each other go.I'm sorry...
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reader, anonymous, writes (15 October 2014): Let me point out the fact that I am like that girl in your life. I absolutely hate or discontent with my personal life and being married to a husband who doesn't share the same dreams and interests as I do is suffocating me. I'm an extrovert and he's an introvert. I have decided to stay for a little longer with him bec. he asked me to and bec. I feel guilty for throwing a marriage. Take it from the other guy, let her do the things she wants to complete herself. I just want freedom. I want to pursue my career, travel, take up hobbies, study. I just want to feel good about myself. My husband is secure with where he's at. If you want this to work, give her space and be sincere. Don't make empty love promises. Show it to her. Figure out her love language and appeal to that. Who know she may fall back in love with you. Go to therapy if you need to. I am going bec. Its my issue not his. A couples therapy is good if you both want to save it. I wanted to leave him for a long time but never did bec. I didn't want him to feel rejected and alone. My husband has changed since I told him I'm leaving. His romantic gesture is starting to get through me and I may stay. BUT we've been through this cycle before and I'm tired of "making this work". I know were nor right for each other but maybe for the sake of "marriage/history", your wife and I may stay in the relationship.P.s. I did meet another guy but we've since stopped communicating. If you sense something about her that's different, confront her in an understanding non-judgmental way as early as possible. OR spend more time with her but don't pressure her. If my husband hadn't noticed it, I may have kept it going with this guy. To this day, I still miss him but my priority is figure out how to solve my problem with myself and my marriage. So what I'm saying is: Don't lose hope but prepare yourself emotionally for the worse. My issues have been like this for 10yrs. Luckily we don't have kids and I can still do the right thing. Question I have is: What is the right thing for both me and my husband. All I know is I'm unhappy with where I'm at now and ive finally admitted to him that I may have stayed with him out of need and friendship NOT love. He refuses to accept that. So, were at an impasse. I care very deeply for him and he is the ONLY man I trust with my life. So this isn't an easy thing for me to do this.
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