| A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes: How can a man can totally become nonsexual toward his wife from one day to the next?My husband once lost his erection in the middle of intercourse,and since than he is like a different guy.It was like a spell.. I really think it is weird,because it was so sudden,and since he never get a normal erection,and his sex-drive is none existent.He went to several doctors and shrink. They really have no clue what is wrong with him...How can something like that is so mysterious? Could it be me? Chemistry? But before, he was so horny ,I couldn't keep up with him. Not knowing what is wrong with him,eats me up inside. Does anybody has any experience like that,there is no diagnosis? i.M AFRAID,THAT IT WILL TURN OUT VERY BAD.If there is any place you heard of ,some special clinic or anything ,let me know. I want to save this marriage,it is 26 years...Thanks
View related questions:
erection, horny Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (6 May 2010): CGrant totally on the money.
A
male
reader, C. Grant  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 If he's over 40, and if this is the first time it's happened, he just might have been confronted in a very serious way that he's aging. And that can have serious cascade effects on his psyche.
It happens to every guy at some point. The brain is the most important sex organ. If his brain is thinking that "it happened once, wow, we're done!", he doesn't want to put himself in that situation again. It's an enormous, profound ego-killer the first time it happens. Particularly if he never had it happen before and so doesn't understand that it can be overcome.
My suggestion is that you don't make a big deal about it. Make it clear to him that there are other things you two can do, lots of things that he can do to satisfy you without intercourse. Build up his confidence by being orgasmic with his fingers or whatever. Make it clear to him that you value intimacy, whether or not it includes intercourse. If the doctors haven't found a problem, then he'll come around in time, as long as he doesn't feel any pressure, doesn't feel like he's failing you.
Be sensitive. You have a long-term marriage that you value. If you make it clear that you continue to value it, regardless, the problem will most likely clear up.
Good luck!
...............................
A
female
reader, angelica111  +, writes (6 May 2010):
 I'm so ever sorry for you, and i would like to have a guaranteed answer, but helas, this doesn't exist.Lets take it by steps,1. What do the different physichians say? Is it a physical or mental problem, or both?What kind of tests did he do?2. Does your Hub have any idea why he is in this situation?Most of the time, men know why they are having erection problems, if this is not due to medication, drugs, high alcohol intake, or an accident. (wher he would be left paraplegic, for example)If it is a mental problem, then HE can resolve it, ofcourse most of the time with professional help.I do not want to bring up another subject that can have the exact effect on some men, but i think it is important to find out somehow. I mean, if he suddenly out of the blue has this problem it could be that he has slept with another woman or person for that matter. Please, do not think that i want this to be the reason, no.But out of experience i know this is a very frequent thing in men. Helas.And it doesn't always mean he has not got the drive to have sex wiyh you, but if he has had sex with someone else, he might feel really guilty about this.3. Various psychological problems can affect him and thus ahve an impact on his erection.Guilt of any kind, money problems, being made redundant, the death of a loved one, being afraid to lose you, and so on.Often, one thinks that men are just like machines when it comes to sex, and that their drive is easily triggered when they want, or more when the other partner wants. This is not true, though. The psychological side of a man plays a very important part. I mean that a man (especially one who is married) is just like a woman, in a different way though. He also is conducted by his feelings when it comes to making love, and having a good time. The problem is, one can see it on a man! And this is often just because he has something heavy on his mind.If he has no problem on that side at all, then i should advice you to seek out some good specialists and have a maximum of tests done. Through google you can also go to various sites, where doctors answer questions, but if you do not have more information about him, then i do not think they will be really be able to help you.Do not be so desperate, i know this is not easy, but you will gradually find out what/where the problem is/lies.Do let me know how you are getting on, and i wish you good luck, yours Angelica
...............................
|
