A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi, ive been with my boyfriend for 4 years on and off. i'm 18.the thing is...i cheated on him about 6 months ago when on holiday. and really dont know whether to tell him. it wont happen again for sure, im not sure why i did it to be honest because i love him so much.nothing was wrong with our relationship, maybe its because we were together so long and was nice to have a bit of attention from someone else. but now all i want is him. do i tell him or just leave it in the past knowing it wont happen again?i'm going to uni soon and we have decided to stay together throughout!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009): You mean it would be OK for him te spend the rest of his life with a cheat as long as he doesn't know it? I don't really think that's right. Of course he'd leave, but doesn't he have the right to be with the kind of person he wishes to be with? I think it's selfish to keep him away from such a decision.
A
female
reader, megan1111  +, writes (16 January 2009):
I know misery loves company but you can be miserable alone; no need to make him miserable as well.
don't tell him as there is no need to tell him. If he knows you violated his trust, your relationship is doomed. How would you feel if he suddenedly told you he cheated? Well, that's how he's going to feel. If he's happy, concentrate on making him happy and move forward.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (16 January 2009): I think you should tell him.
You gave yourself away so easily for such petty reasons, I doubt that you'd be able to stay faithful for more serious times.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (15 January 2009): you're young…you wanted to know what else is out there…see what you're missing…i think people tell their s.o. that they've cheated, so that they can clear their conscience regardless of the consequences…we just have to live w/ our wrongdoings…what your man doesn't know won't hurt him…why ruin a good thing…plus it's almost punishment having to keep it inside all the time…which i think is only fair to the two of you as a couple
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2009): yes i do love him...and i dont see any good in telling him. i just feel so guilty and not sure how to stop that. thanks for replies
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (14 January 2009): I'm gonna be honest with you... I wouldn't tell him. Something similar happened to me in a relationship. I messed up. I got advice to tell him and I did. I begged and pleaded and cried and told him it would never happend again, but he ended it and that was it. I don't know how your guy may react but I don't believe once a cheater always a cheater... I believe good people just sometimes make bad decisons. You messed up. You have realized that. So what I suggest... deal with it and let it go. It happened six months ago. If you really wanted to tell him, you would have told him when it happened. Maybe this isn't the advice you wanted or your gonna get but if you wanna keep this guy and if you know how he may react when you tell him (which is not good) then why hurt him. You deal with it come to terms with it, tell yourself you'll never do it again, maybe this is what you needed to figure out what you really wanted. Remember, it doesnt make you a bad person and take what happned as a lesson learned. hope this helped some.
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A
female
reader, zonks  +, writes (14 January 2009):
No. Dont tell. He might use it as an excuse later if he crosses the line. And anyways, Why spoil something so good? Forgive yourself and forget it. By the way, You do love him, don't you?
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