A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Hi, I'm in love with a friend - my partner in our small business. I can't quite figure out his fellings for me. He just got fake-married for legalization issues. He is a very kind and great friend, but he didn't told me about the marriedge at all for six months and we talked several times about love and relationships. I always gave him support to go ahead and marry the girl because he told me taht he was seeing her, now i fell like a fool. the hole time he was married to her already why he needed my opnion? And why does he still gives me this long kisses in the cheecks and hugs and sends me kisses when we finish telephone calls? He is driving me crazy to the point of I can't help myself and caught me sending all the body language signals of "I want you" and only realizing it afterwards. What should i do? The more I j=know him the more I love to spend time with him. But he's legally married now, he refuses to assume it but she is really into it. When he got married I wasn't available so I couldn't help him. I can't help but think what if. To complicate the situation we are finacially bounded toguether, we live to spend time with each other and have the same goals in life. i can't just walk away from the best financial situation I ever got in my life. Should I tell him how I feel and work it out as good friends and rational adults? Is it possible? What if he feels the same about me? Will I be the worst kind of home wreker? Advice please Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (3 February 2007):
 I would be very careful here. If you DO blurt out your feelings for him it could change your whole working relationship. He's married! Why did he not tell you he'd gotten married? Do you think it was to spare your feelings? Has he said anything directly to you to make you think he prefers you to his wife? Do him and his wife get along?
I would continue to be his friend for now. What do you mean exactly when you say "he got married for legalization issues?" If he felt anything for you and you both were getting along so well could he not have put marriage to you to help him out? Something doesn't sound right here.
If you want to fill me in a bit more then feel free to email me about it. For now though I'd say nothing to him. Better to remain friends with him than put your friendship/business relationship in jeopardy by blurting out your feelings to him.
Eve
A
female
reader, Country Woman +, writes (2 February 2007):
 I think honesty is always the best policy.
OK firstly you gave him support and advice when you were unavailable and your situation has changed since then so stop beating yourself up about that.
He married someone for legalisation reasons, OK we all have to do what we have to do and he must of at least liked this woman to go ahead with it. Who gained him or her?
If she is into the marriage and he isn't then he is sticking with it purely to be seen as doing the right then and playing out the whole scenario.
If you are financial committed to one another for business reasons then you should at least find out where he stands as this new wife could have rights that you are unaware of purely because she is married to him and in the UK once you are married the spouse is legally allowed 50% of the other partners belongings/earnings unless there is a will in place if anything awful was to happen.
Check with him what the situation as from a purely business point of view so that all the paperwork is correct and he will see that you looking out for him.
Whilst you spend more time with him and share your aspirations of what you want out of life you are bound to get closer to him.
I think by being honest and upfront there is nothing left to surprise each other with so find out what he feels about this new wife and say to him that you are fond of him or more it really is up to you.
I don't see it as being a home wrecker if he is not committted to this woman but by staying quiet and playing out the whole sexual chemistry thing he has the best of both worlds i.e. someone at home and someone who is OK about the situation and gives him admiration and this must be a boost to his ego.
Clear the air without getting into an argument and tell him how much you respect him as your business partner and the fact that you don't want that to change.
I wish you all the very best of luck.
Like you say you are adults and having a rational conversation costs nothing.
If it comes out that he does have feelings for his wife then rethink your strategy and if you are OK with that then fine and if not then you need to think about your future and no one else. You are the person that counts in all of this.
Take care.
Country Woman
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