A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: My bf was going through old boxes in front of me, and out a corner of my eye I saw him keep a card from a ex who he cheated on me with in our early relationship [they are not longer in contact]. I feel upset inside. Do I tell him?
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female
reader, cheers +, writes (11 August 2011):
Well,He still not let go the past. But doesn't mean,he doesn't love you.He needs time& bit more assurance frm you.Can you do that?
How abt this? Tell him directly that You love him. Let's move forward the future together thru thick& thin and be honest towards each other.Don't you agree?
When he agrees and nod his head, you continue this question,"But why do you still keep that ex card? Do you know i feel very sad because of that? I've been standing beside you all this time. Is this show that you love me?
A
female
reader, YouWish +, writes (11 August 2011):
Yeah, I'd say you do tell him. It's one thing to keep a memory, but since he's already cheated on you with her, his keeping the card does look like he's burning a candle for her still.
You didn't say this here, but I'm sure that for you to keep him after he cheated on you, he must have made some serious promises to you in regards to her. Keeping her card would be a violation of that promise. You have every right to feel residual betrayal for what he's done, and you have every right to not trust him when it comes to her.
Which brings me to the last point. The trust here is shattered. No matter what, you'll always feel slightly on edge because of your cheater boyfriend. Are you sure you don't want to cut him lose and look for a fresh start?
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A
female
reader, VSAddict +, writes (11 August 2011):
Tell him and explain how it makes you feel. I can see why it would make you uncomfortable. Ask him to get rid of it and if he doesn't, ask yourself if it's something you can deal with. He shouldn't have it because it brings up bad memories for you and possibly him, and they no longer have anything to do with each other. So tell him, and hopefully he'll understand your feelings.
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