A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:I met this lad and totally fell for him. He's exceptionally good looking, makes me laugh and I just loved being with him. We met on holiday and he literally saved my life when I was nearly kidnapped, I know it sounds like some fairytale. He was really brave and i just liked being with him and was scared to go out after the ordeal so clung to him. I miss him like mad and we text alot and he says he wants to see me again however part of me thinks he's not looking for a relationship.But I really want one with him and would be heartbroken if he didn't (I'm sure he doesnt :( he's invited me to stay with him for few days (we don't live near each other) I really want to go but am scared of getting hurt and we live a distance away from each other. There's also a lad I was dating after the holiday and I know he really likes me, he's really nice and I know he's trustworthy and definately wants a realtionship but I don't know, he just doesnt make me feel all happy and give me butterflies and make me excited when I get a text from him, like I do when the lad I met on holiday does. I don't know what to do, take a risk and go for the lad I met on holiday who I've totally fallen for even though I know a relationship is very unlikely and risk getting heartbroken or go for the lad I've been dating and know exactly what he wants and know he really likes me and would be a lovely boyfreind but I don't know, I should really like him but I just don't see him more than a friend :(
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Dorothy Dix  +, writes (12 August 2011):
Hi there. The distance between you and the guy who gives you butterflies, is going to be a barrier for you both.
There's a lot of anxiety in LDR's, and not being able to see each other would definitely become a problem in a very short time. You'd end up arguing.
Texting each other is ok for a short time, but it doesn't make up for actually seeing each other in person. With texting, there's room for misinterpretations of what is said. It's a relationship with a lot of restrictions, and you would end up being very unhappy - sooner rather than later.
What you miss out on is:-
(1) Hugs.
(2) Kisses.
(3) Going out together and having fun.
(4) Getting to know each other really well.
(5) Making love.
As you are seeing this other guy at the moment, you could respectfully let him know that you want to take it slowly and are not quite ready for a serious relationship just yet. Then see how things pan out over time.
With the other guy who lives a distance from you, keep it casual but friendly.
Over time this guy you met on holiday, will eventually kind of fade like a forgotten dream, especially the longer the time is before you could actually make arrangements to see each other again.
Holiday romances do seem a bit like a fairytale romance, and then once real life settles in, there's a different reality and it feels like a nice dream - but not quite real anymore.
You might not be to that stage just yet, as it was probably fairly recent when you met. But inevitably it will probably come to that point in the coming weeks and months.
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