A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Its been 2 years and im still not over my ex, He doesn't share the same feelings i understand that. im just so upset i really want to get over him. He was my first bf but why am i so attached him he didnt even kiss me, i feel so unattractive because of him it just hurts knowing he was never attracted to me, i was never good enough for him, i can only be his friend. Our friendship is basically over we were best friends, he says its nt over but it is, his close friend even sed he hates seeing us two like dis. My ex is pushing me away, he's fed up and given up on trying to help me, i understand but its breaking me, we wont talk 2 me much just say hi r u ok dats it,i see him with other girls fine. We got into alot of arguements, but now we barely talk. Im fed up so im cutting contact with him no texting or msn. I will bump into him in school tho, i feel like crap I feel like its my fault im unhappy, i fall for the guy thats not interested in me. Now i met someone else whos interested in me and i think i have a tiny bit of feelings for him. he's the first guy i looked at since my ex. but i feel bad because he's a good guy not my usual type, he's loud funny a bit of a clown my friends describe him as a jokeman. My friends say hes the type that will use me for sex etc i shudnt go for him. i dont know what it is that makes me like him, most the time im not even sure if i do. i hate that i still want my ex, when i know this new guy shows an interest he pretends to kiss me etc. I feel bad that i may lead him on coz i sed i like him he was grinnning, but i hope my mind doesnt change im so confused 1 min i like him the other i dont. My friends say im telling myself i dnt coz i dnt wanna get hurt again. How do i get over my ex. 2yrs is long enough i expected it to be over by now, thank you
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female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (5 April 2010):
 yes two years is quite a while- but the deeper the wound is, the longer it will take to heal. don't obssess about time. It will take what it will take. I notice that you may not be totally over your ex but at least you do not sound depressed and are normally functioning. You go to school, you talk to your friends,you even start liking a little a new boy. You act normal- of course, that's far from being totally happy, but it means you are on the way to hhealing. You should cooperate with the healing process,though. This means ,for instance, going cold turkey :). Cutting all contacts whatsoever with your ex. If you bump into him at school, so be it. but no texts,no calls, no facebokk- nothing. Throw away anything that you may have belonging to him , or that remind you of him- pictures,movie tickets stubs,anything at all. Do something symbolic to celebrate a new start in life - cut your hair, or dye them, wear contacts if you got glasses, or wear glasses if you don't. Anything to tell your subsconscious : it's a new me, it's a new phase of my life. Take up a new hobby or a new sport, something you've always been curious to try but you never did. Learn to meditate (it helps a lot ). Read books about self esteem- the one by Gloria Stenheim is good, but there are many on this subject, just ask your local library. Turn to a higher power. pray and if you don't follow any religion just ask the support of the Universe to help you through this difficult time. Nobody is left alone with his sorrows in this world - you don't believe me ? Well , just think : I bumped by chance in your posting. I am in Italy, I am not your age, I don't know you and I never will- our lives are totally apart. and yet, i read your message and wished I could help you somehow... All this to say : trust the Universe . trust life. There never is a winter that's not followed by a spring. I wish your spring is coming real real soon.
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