A
female
age
51-59,
*uby34
writes:I am a single mother of two and have had my ups and downs with men. i have meet the man of my dreams and we have grown very close. he told me something the other night about himself because he wants no secrets and wants us to become closer and move to the next level. he has spent 2 years in prison for having sex with a 16 year old. This was very shocking for me and he did tell me it was consented to. He further explained that he was in a dead end marriage, depressed and hit rock bottom. he has had the last 8 or so years to thimk about it and turn his life around. he sees his kids and has no other restrictions, except that he has to report a move, or new car. can people really change? do i risk everything by still seeing him and commiting to our relationship? everyone has certain things they are ashamed of and regreat were do we draw the line for forgivness? I am torn so i thought i would put that out there to see what others think. Thanks for the input
View related questions:
depressed, in jail Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, rammsteinfan +, writes (28 April 2007):
 First of all you didn't state his age at the time he had relations with the 16-year-old girl. And apparently that happened 8 years ago (you stated that he had 8 years to think about it) He is a honest man because he told you about it...he could have just kept it too himself.
We all make mistakes. Just as long as we don't keep making the same mistake over and over and over again! Go with what your heart tells you, and do alot of praying. Observe how he interacts with your children, and ask them questions about what they think of him. Young children will tell you if they don't like your bf Also do some research over the internet on sex offenders, and signs to watch for.
Just take things One Day at a time, and remember that your children come first...and their safety is at the utmost importance! God Bless you...and good luck
A
female
reader, floraltemptaions  +, writes (28 April 2007):
Well... this is a tricky one...
First of all you have to think of your kids. Do you have sole custody of them? And if your ex were to find out about this little piece of dirt, would he fight for your children? Because ultimately, no man is worth losing your children over... no matter how much you love him.
Secondly, watch his habits while you are out... does he constantly check out the teenager in the short skirt? If so, I would say you wouldnt want to put your kids in this postition... if not... then you just have to go with your gut. Only you know him, and only you can know if he is truely changed, trust your instincts & they will usually lead you in the right direction. You also have to give him a bit of credit for confiding in you.... to me, that means he's 100% honest with you... and that means a lot. Good luck!
...............................
|
