A
female
age
30-35,
*oveinghim
writes:I like this guy and my friends all know I do. When I asked them about going to hang out with him they told me that I act too available and that I should not go. The last time we hung out was a week ago and we ended up hanging out with some of my friends though we were originally going to just hang out with each other. My friends wanted to go out and I wanted to go with so I brought him along.I'm already a busy person so I don't want to waste my time or his by trying to play hard to get and then not spending time with each other because of that when we already don't have a lot of time to get to know each other. Do I really need to pretend like i'm too busy to hang out with him in order to get him interested and to the point that he would ask me out? Reply to this Question
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female
reader, loveinghim +, writes (20 January 2011):
loveinghim is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you I completely agree with all of you and thank you so much. I don't like playing mind games and I don't like it when peopled that to me so I try not to do it to other people. Thank you soooooooooooooooooooooooo much if you have any more advice please tell me :)
A
male
reader, Odds +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Do the friends giving you this advice all have awesome, loving boyfriends? If not, think hard before taking their advice.
Playing hard to get only works if the "prize" is already firmly established in his mind. Liking him is not enough. You need to hang out with him at least once, flirt, and make your interest clear before you even try it. Otherwise he'll just assume that you're either uninterested, or too much effort.
You need to get him interested *before* playing these games. And you need to play them without lying or manipulating him, or he'll think you're just an attention whore.
So meet up, have fun, display interest. Then tease him a bit, back off a bit, but call him back. "Hard to get" is best played not by being unavailable to be with him (which is counterproductive and mean), but by only rewarding *some* of his own efforts.
Example: if he kisses you, enjoy it. Next time he ksses you, return it, then smile, but go back to what you were doing without saying anything. Time after that, enjoy it and escalate. Another example: first time he calls, be excited. Second time, be all business - establish a date plan and say bye. Third time, invite him out he gets the chance to invite you.
The idea is to unpredictable in each instance, but for the overall picture to show that his investment is worthwhile.
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A
female
reader, Blonde68  +, writes (20 January 2011):
No you don't need to pretend you are too busy to hang out with him because that is when all the silly mind games start and then you end up getting no where.
If he asks you out again and you do geniunely like him, then go for it. Just allow him to be the hunter, as men are for some reason born and breed that way. What I mean by that is, take a while to reply to a text, don't appear too keen by texting him first all the time. But remember... no mind games!
Good luck!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (20 January 2011): No, you don't need to pretend anything. Being a little hard to get is ok. E.g. not texting back straight away, not meeting up all the time etc...
If you are interested in this guy and he asks to hang out then go. Life's too short to play silly games.
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A
female
reader, petina1 +, writes (20 January 2011):
 Don't pretend anything. If you want to hang out with him, then do so. You say you are already a busy person, then hang out with him when you arent as busy. don't listen to friends on that score, sometimes they can be a bit jealous and it is the wrong advise to give you. If you both enjoy hanging out together, then enjoy yourselves, you are doing nothing wrong.
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