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female
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anonymous
writes: Should I play it like I'm strong or show him I love him and want him back? My boyfriend of 7 years finished with me a month ago. We were planning to get married in a couple of years, but do the whole travelling round the world thing for a year first. I met up with him for a chat about what we are now going to do with the house (we own together) last night, and was shocked to hear he has decided to rent a house with his friends he used to live with before he met me, when he was at university! It feels like he is suddenly regressing, pretending he's not growing up! He'll be 29 in August though and left uni three years ago. I love him very, very much and when I talked to him I got the vibe that he'd just got scared as his reason for breaking up is he doesn't see a future for us anymore!?!? He says he still loves me and is still attracted to me so I'm wondering "what's the problem?" but he now wont talk about it all saying I must just accept it's all over and move on. We had a "goodbye" kiss on the lips though and I felt that spark of passion we have always had so I'm wondering how do I get him realise he just got scared but we can work through that? Do I play it like I don't need him (to make him realise what he's losing)? or tell him I love him and want him back? Help I'm stuck here!
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female
reader, Aunt Audrey  +, writes (15 May 2006):
 You may not want to hear this, but I think the guy is done with you, for now at least!
Time for you to consider moving on with your life, as hard as it is, it sounds as if your ex has made up his mind where you are concerned. I wouldn't play mind games to try and get him back, stay friendly and keep some form of communincation open between the two of you, and if he finds in time he has made a mistake and want to be with you after all, I'm sure he'll find a way of telling you.
By all means tell him how you feel, but I don't think this will change his feelings, whatever reason he gives for your split will still be fresh in his mind, you have to give him time to reconsider.
The ball is firmly in his court, you'll have to wait and see how things pan out, but I wouldn't stay at home waiting for him to come rushing back, I don't think it will happen right now, if at all, it will take time.
Good luck!
A
female
reader, bonym +, writes (13 May 2006):
 My friend the answer is simple. BE HONEST. Whats with all the playing hard to get? Youmay end of losing him for good because he may get fed up with your games. Tel him straight how you feel and dont consider playing hard to get because he will soon get bored and fed up, but if you are honest he will know where he stands. Good luck. xXx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2006): It's funny because I'm going through the same exact thing. We called our relationship off yesterday after five years. The wedding was suppose to be in June. He says he loves me and that he's attracted to me, but he fears that he won't be able to deal with some of my ways in the future. No matter how I tell him, I'm willing to work on my ways for the better, he is just giving up on us. I'm actually waiting to see what response you're going to get cause my situation is super similar!!!
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 May 2006): It sounds very immature for what you want to do. I say that he seems to have some major commitment issues. So I know that this is a lot harder to do than just simply give opinion/advice, but I ask you, are you WILLING to risk losing him? If you are, then I say play hard to get. I mean, it seems like you will have to do a lot to try to 'tame' the little heart of his.
Question - what has HE done for you to try to reassure that his heart was with you at all in the last few years?
It's SUPER easy to say, "I love you with all of my heart, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. I cannot pretend that I am okay that I am apart from you." Yaddi yadda. Geez, I've heard that line from some acquaintences of mine say to their girlfriends (note the plural) so often, that I myself wonder, "What the hell?"
Anyway, I am not saying your ex is anything like that, BUT would you save your own dignity as a person, or would you not want to risk anything and dive onto him?
Aunts and uncles, please help this poor girl out. I must make a lot of people's blood boil... 8/
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