A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:i am torn between two guys. the first guy i have known him for 8 years, we have been friends with benefits on and off for about 6 years, i always felt like he was the love of my life. didn't matter who i was with i always ended back with him. but in feb i want to go visit family in cuba. there i met a guy (his cousin is married to my cousin) from the first moment i saw him i felt different. i got goosebumps, chills, i couldn't even speak. i spent two amazing weeks with him. after that trip i kept in touch with him. i even went back in may for a week to see him. we still have kept in touch. but the problem is that i'm still seeing the first guys(we are b/f and g/f). they don't know anything about each other. i still love the first one but it can't compare to what i feel for the one in cuba. i know i can't be with the one from cuba the way i want yet. i feel bad because i'm sleeping with the first one and i still care about him but the one from cuba is the one i want to be with but can't at least the way i want to. what should i do? is it normal to bein love with to people at the same time? please help!!
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female
reader, Empressjai  +, writes (30 May 2010):
 You have been friends with benefits with the first guy yet you call him your bf??? You go on holiday and become infatuated with some guy in Cuba and now you feel that you are in love with 2 men?
Love is like a seed it takes time to grow and it needs to be watered and nurtured to make it endure. What i see is lust and neediness dressed up as 'love'. You need to find a man for yourself by first knowing what it is you want in a relationship. If it is just sex then have friends with benefits connection. The guy in Cuba is a stranger you need to know more than base everything upon a lustful connection.
A
male
reader, DeadEyeDick +, writes (30 May 2010):
 You dont even know the guy in Cuba, what will you do when you pick him, move to Cuba, and find out he beats the shit out of you? or is possesive, or just wanted to nail you! seems pretty much like infatuation to me, remember the brighter the star the faster it dies!
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A
female
reader, Moo's Mum  +, writes (30 May 2010):
 Yes I think you can be in love with two people at once. Lets face it we manage to love as many children as we produce and our partner at the same time. But hey lets be practical here unless you move to Cuba or he moves to your country you can't be with this other guy so you just need to forget him and move on. If you love BF num1 enough to stay with him, then stay if you want to find happiness somewhere else then move on. I know that is insanely simple for me to write and will be hard for you to do. But throw it to the gods and do lots of analysis and decide what's best for you.
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