A
female
age
36-40,
*ostone
writes:So my boyfriend and I had been going out for almost four years. We're in college, and during freshman and sophomore year I lived with him in his apartment because he'd wanted me to. I didn't have to pay any part of the rent and no one said anything about payback.This year, I signed onto a lease for a three bedroom apartment and my boyfriend was going to stay with me. A couple weeks before move-in he broke up with me, saying he didn't love me anymore and he loved some girl he was friends with online. I still let him move in with me because I was hoping things would change. They didn't, and it was very painful having him there living in the same room because I still love him. I cried everyday and some days were worse than others. I became extremely depressed to the point where I was being consumed with suicidal thoughts. I sought counseling and was put up in hospitalization for a week.While I was in the hospital, my family decided to step in and get my ex out of the apartment. They basically told him to get out or they would seek legal action to have him forced out. When I returned from the hospital, he was gone.I contacted him last night because he hasn't been in class and I was worried. And he told me he hates my family and what they did was evil and malicious. He's withdrawn from school and he wants me and my family to pay his parents back for this semester's tuition and withdrawal fees as well as for half the rent the past two years while I was staying with him, saying this is the only way to make things right.Had I known that I was going to be indebted to him, I would never have stayed with him those two years. Do I have to pay them back when there was never any talk about it previously? I was not on his lease and he was not on my lease. And is what my family did evil, when they were just trying to protect me? Please, I really need an objective opinion, I am very confused.
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reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008): If I were you I'd tell him to go to hell and stay there!
You were effectively his house guest because he invited you there and wanted you to live with him. If there's no signed rental or lease agreement between you and him, or you and his parents, none of them have a leg to stand on. Come to think of it I think if I were you I'd give him an invoice for two years worth of washing, cooking, cleaning and ironing and anything else you can think of - and I'd make damn sure it comes to more than what he claims you owe him!
A
reader, anonymous, writes (26 September 2008): no yuou dont owe him anything he says this hurt him well he hurt you worse and he asked you to move in with him and said you dont have to pay any rent its his fault
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A
female
reader, hlskitten  +, writes (26 September 2008):
 No! You owe him noting. The way he treated you was basically taking advantage of you. No you shouldn't of let him move in after he had said he was hooked on someone on line, but no one is perfect and you made an error of judgement. Your family were completely right to move this guy out of your place. They were looking out for you, and thank god they did because you were close to a nervous breakdown. He is completely wrong to be chasing you for rent when nothing was mentioned before.
This guy is a control freak.
Stay srtong and learn from this that you are now moving on, the guy was a bozo, and you have many years ahead of you living your life to the full. And that doesn't include someone as dysfunctional as him. Your folks care enough to advise you. They have lived a bit more than you remember. Lean on them a bit more. Thats what they are there for.
Keep your chin up.
C xxxxx
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