A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:I don't know if I need help or what. I posted on here before about my feelings for my married friend. We know that we cannot be together because we are both married, I told him to be happy with his wife and forget about me and I would do the same (I am also married to a great man).My friend and I had a few misunderstandings and our friendship seems to have simmered down. We dont talk frequently anymore, and I feel that he has let me go. Wich is a good thing I know. My only problem is, I cant seem to let go of him, my feelings are still as intence as years ago when they developed and I just want it to go away. I think I love my husband, but i dont know why and how i could feel this way about someone else. I do not want to leave my husband at all, I want to respect him and love him and only him but i feel tortured because I love 2 men. I know alot of my feelings for my friend are based on fantasy, but this fantasy is not letting me go even though i try daily to get rid of it. I know all the right things to do but maybe I need help from a therapist or something. Do you think therapy can help me get over this and continue on with my life? Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): I agree with bewitching. I advise that you see a therapist about this issue. But if all does not turn out well and you still find yourself attracted to this man please don't continue to hurt your husband like this. Let your husband find someone else who'll love him completely. Don't be selfish- set him free. Good luck!
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): Kindly link your previous post, as I cannot find it.
Thanks
LoveGirl
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): Hey guys thanks for your replies...you make valid points. I do not see (nor speak with) my friend at all since we live many many miles apart. I try to distract myself as wantspain suggested, I was just wondering why it has to take so long. I figured after a few months of no contact I would be fine. On the contrary I am feeling more compulsive. I do feel horrible and guilty for my feelings if I could turn the switch I would do so in a heartbeat. Thanks for verifying that therapy is a good idea bewitching.
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 June 2011): I will point out that I have read your last post. I apologize if I might sound blunt. In a way you are already cheating and hurting your husband by having an emotional affair with this married friend of yours. And this has lasted for YEARS?! Why have you not taken action sooner? "I think I love my husband..." You think? Please, for both your husband's sake and your sake, get some help such as counseling and see what went wrong that is making you doubt yourself. If your husband is a good man then he deserves a wife who loves him 100%. If you find out that you are unable to completely devote yourself to him then you should get out of this marriage. But the choice is entirely up to you.
...............................
A
male
reader, wantspaintogoaway +, writes (9 June 2011):
 Only you have the power to let go. If it takes a therapist to help you realize that, then fine. The only thing that gets rid of love, is time and distractions. You will eventually forget he exists. But if you dont want to, then just do whatever your heart tells you to do. Its always right.
...............................
A
male
reader, freeme +, writes (9 June 2011):
 Yikes. Years? I suppose if you found the right therapist they might be able to help.
Do you still see this guy?
A starting point for you might be to ask yourself what the fantasy you have is all about, thereby identifying what is missing from your life. Is there a way your husband can fulfill that?
...............................
|
