A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am married and have 2 kids. I have been with my husband for 5 years and married for 3. We have been haveing a lot of arguments and even got close to being physical with each other. So in all this i started chatting to other people. There was this one guy that I talked to a lot and became really close friends, but things got out of hand and we became more than friends. We talked on the computer as well as on the phone. We have seen each other via web cam, that is all. We have been talking to each other for about 4 months now and he wants to meet me. We live like 12 hours apart, and have never meet each other face to face. He says he has real loving feeligns for me, but I am very confused. I do have real feelings for this other guy, but i dont know if I love him. He is a great friend and he listens to everything i have to say!! My husband sort of looks right though me if you know what i mean. I just keep thinking that if we dont meet that it maybe something great. And i also think that if I do meet him and it dont work then my husband will be hurt and leave me... or worse. I dont know what to do, do i meet him, or say no and stay with my husband? Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (29 April 2009): re you prepared for the total chaos you will be causing. i also think you are selfish, you want to be with this man and if it doesn't work out, you still expect your husband to be stay with you. your husband should not be your second best, the man you now have settled for. he should be the only one.
it is not called a can of worms for nothing, be prepared, your worst nightmare can and will come true f you continue in this manner. then you only have yourself to blame when the sh1t hits the fan and you are left all alone. is this what you want? you have the power to make your marriage work. do you want to? then invest in it AGAIN. use your positive energies to restore the marriage or if you just cannot then bow out, NOW.
A
female
reader, mrs.smith81608 +, writes (28 April 2009):
Emotional affairs are not the answer! You feel alone, unwanted, unappreciated and you need validation. I've been there, every wife and/or husband has at one time or another. I'm not going to down you, but think of your kids. Do you want them to ever find out, if you do go thru with this and your husband finds out, that "mommy had an affair with a man she met online?"
Also, you don't really KNOW this guy. You don't know what he's about and it's just not safe or practical. You could be putting your life as well as those of your children in danger by agreeing to meet this man and talking to him on the phone. He can get your address just by having your phone number.
Do consider marriage counseling. I believe that it would be the best outlet for you and your husband to try and see where to go from here.
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A
female
reader, Sweet-thing  +, writes (28 April 2009):
 Having an affair is never the answer. Even if your spouse never finds out you will be torn between the man you have a committment with, and the one you can't stop thinking about. If you leave your husband to be with this man, you may later discover he's not all he's cracked up to be and it'll be too late to un-do what's been done. If you have the affair, even if you later end it, you will still have alot of guilt and the fact that you've cheated is like a cancer, slowly eating away at your marriage under the surface. Consider counseling with your man to see if you can re-kindle what you once had. You can keep the man as your friend only if you can control how your contact will be. (Are you that strong?) if not, then just end it now before you become more tempted to do more. It is always better if face up to the problems you have in one marriage before you run to the arms of another man. It really messes up your head in the long run. xxoxo
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