A
female
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes: I have a bf for 5yrs now (he is 3yrs older than me)and we both at marrying age. we already had plans of getting married when we reached 3rd yrear in our relationship and we planned to pursue it this year. During these years that we're together, we don't have major problems except that my mother doesn't like him at first but now she is ok with him. The only thing I don't like with my bf is his being shy(maybe because of our long distance relationship that he doesn't have close encouters with my friends). Aside from that, I don't have anymore complains about him and I was ready to be his wife. I said was because last month, I met a guy, younger than me for 3 yrs.one of my cousins introduced him to me and we met only for 2 days and after that we have constant communication without my bf's knowledge.I like this guy because I enjoyed talking with him and my mother approved right away with him. My problem now is do I have to pursue our plans of getting married with my bf (he noticed this time that I have changed) or do I have to wait for the new guy I just know because he is out of the country this time for work and be back 7months after. Do I have to wait or get married. please do help I am really do confuse.
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 February 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks a lot everyone! i do appreaciate all your opinions about my problem. i rated you all excellent and good.. all your answers would be a great help for me. i do need to lift all these things to God. yah you are right too, if i am pretty sure of marrying someone, i should not be in haste. i am not the type of person also who falls in love directly, i met other guys too but only with this person i am sooo comfortable to talk to. thank you so much everyone! really a great help!
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008): This worked for me: read below and give your anxiety and problems up to him who love's you and is exceedingly able!
What is blind trust? Good question. Blind trust is when you put your total, and I mean TOTAL, FULL, ALL, EVERYTHING trust in God. But what most of us do is we give the problem to God for a little while (or only give certain parts of the problem to Him - hanging onto parts ourselves!), and then when things don't go the way we think they should, we run and get our problem back! And, when we do this, God CANNOT work! Maybe what we want isn't coming as soon as we think it should. Or things are not going the way we hoped. Or we try to help God along - boy, what a mess!!
Asking God for something is like using a credit card: When we ask for something, we "give Him the card". As long as He has it, He can work. But when we "take it back", for whatever reason, He has to stop working and wait for the "card" back. And when we try to help God out, we wind up with the "card stuck in the machine" - and nothing gets done until we get our hands out and let God work! But now he has to fix the "mess" we made before He can start!
Blind trust is like a horse in a burning building. First you must cover the horse's eyes before you can lead him out. Sometimes God doesn't explain what's happening to us or where He is leading us - When He does this, we are to blindly trust that HE knows what He's doing! If He were to explain it to us, it might scare us (just like the fire would scare the horse!) and we wouldn't follow His sure leading.
God loves us and wants to help us with ALL our problems. All we have to do is LET Him! Even the little ones matter to Him - He wants to help! And we know that God is all power and all knowledge - So stop and think: How much better off we would be if we put our TOTAL trust in God and let Him do for us what HE knows is best!
What to do After You've Given the Problem to God
After you begin to learn to blindly trust God with all your problems, BEWARE: Satan is bound to try to tell you it won't work! He will use every trick he can think of to get you to worry and doubt God. One way to know if you've really turned it all over to God is if you aren't worrying about it any more. If you find yourself constantly thinking and talking about the problem, chances are you are still holding on to it yourself. If you've laid everything at the feet of Jesus, there is NO cause for worry! When you do this, Satan has no ground to stand on. When he brings it to your mind, just tell him you won't listen - GOD has the problem, not you. So if Satan wants to talk to someone about it, he has to face God - which, of course he won't even think of!!
Jesus told us to come to Him when we are troubled and weary and He promised to give us rest. He said His yoke is easy and His burden is light - How true are these words of our Precious Savior!! He takes ALL our burdens upon Him and in exchange gives us a yoke with NO burdens. How calm and joyful it is to be free from burdens in the Saviour - resting in Him, trusting Him moment by moment - praising Him even in the middle of bad times, for we know we're in His care! Even though the circumstances of the day might suggest a day spent in worry or concern, the knowledge of God provides a day of rejoicing in the face of our circumstances! Rejoicing in the day the Lord has given us opens up possibilities and closes the door on worry and futility!!
Walking With Him
When Peter saw Jesus walking on the water, He jumped out of the boat and started walking towards Him. As long as his eyes were on Jesus and not the high waves, he did fine. As soon as He looked at the waves (problem!), he began to sink. He called to Jesus to save him, and immediately Jesus did. Then Jesus asked him, "Peter, why did you doubt?"
I believe this is a valuable lesson to us as Christians. When we have problems all around us, it doesn't matter. The world offers two choices:
1. Sink: Let the problem scare you and cause you to give up hope.
2. Swim: TRY to handle the problem yourself.
But GOD has a better option: To walk on the top with Him!
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A
female
reader, birdynumnums  +, writes (1 February 2008):
 Marriage is a huge step. If you are confused or not sure, don't go ahead with it. It's not something that you can take back or change your mind about afterwards, it's supposed to be for life. You should feel, in your heart, absolutely NO doubt that you love the person that you marry. You should know them and feel comfortable with all of their flaws and good qualities, and you should be able to communicate with them. When you do find that person, you won't be judging them based on what your Mom or anyone else says, you'll know it's right.
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A
female
reader, Laura1318  +, writes (1 February 2008):
 If you don't know the answer, you can wait for the new man to come back and see how it goes.Do not marry in haste. Choose the right one and decide carefully.
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A
male
reader, Ankit  +, writes (1 February 2008):
Hi
Dont get me wrong
But its not fair ....
Its not fair for him...
U cannot leave ur boyfriend of three years just u met some other guy
forget ur age his age marriage etc....
Its not fair....
Ur current boyfriend has been with u for 3 year which is a pretty long time...
He has been with u for good and bad times in these 3 years.
& at the end of day he doesnt deserve to be treated like this...
this not the way relationships work....
this way even if u get married to the other new fellow it wont last...
who knows some other guy might just come along
Best regards.
Ankit
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 February 2008): you are not ready for marriage period. Don't do it your looking at other guys.
Good luck
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