A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:O.k.... I've been going out with my boyfriend for 2, nearly 3 years now and although things have not been perfect, overall we've been quite happy and I've had some of the best times with him, but my sister has told me throughout our relationship she really doesn't think we should be together and that I can do better. She's adamant that I should dump him and should find someone a lot better looking and who will treat me like a princess etc etc. I'll admit my boyfriend isn't a celebrity look a like and he's not perfect, (at times in a lot of ways), but he genuinely loves me and doesn't treat me badly and to be honest, if she never said anything, I would be so blissfully happy rather than constantly worrying whether she is right.My boyfriend wants to move in together and think about a serious future together and I would love that but I don't know if I can cope with my sister telling me how stupid and wrong it is. She told me I'm an idiot for settling for him (especially because he's my first proper boyfriend) and I actually started listening to her and have gotten myself so confused over everything that I'm not sure how I feel anymore. Maybe I am making a mistake and I should try for someone better? Maybe staying with him is a big mistake?Over the last week I started arguing with my boyfriend about everything in our relationship and a lot of it was things I've never bothered talking to him about so he's not been aware of how I felt on some things. He said he wished I'd talk to him rather than just having a go at him for things he didn't know I was angry about. The argument ended with me telling him I want a week break apart to see if I really do want to be with him.That was tonight and it's only been about 4 hours and I feel like part of me has been ripped apart. I can't stop looking at his facebook profile and hoping he'll ignore me and ring me because I don't think I can get through this week without wanting to see and talk to him.I don't know what to do...do I hold everything in and wait until the end of the week to see if I do feel differently or should I just ignore it and ring him and tell him how I feel??And although my sister is so strong willed and no matter what I say to her, her opinion won't change. Should I just ignore her or actually listen to what she's been saying?I'm sorry for the essay but I thought if you knew most of the long story it would help...any advice will be gratefully received.Thank you :( x.x
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reader, anonymous, writes (2 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI went to his place but according to his housemate he wasnt in.i say "according to" as although i cant actualy proove it,i think he was because as soon as his housemate saw me it looked like he was lying.he mumbled+wouldnt realy look at me+said he wasnt in but when i got home+looked at facebook he had put stuff round the time i went to his.still cant be 100% sure though.hes at college tomorow+i think i know what time hes finishing so i dont know wether to just go+wait for him+hope he talks to me+hears me out.im just worried that he clearly doesnt want to talk to me+that he will just ignore me.x
A
female
reader, fishdish  +, writes (1 March 2011):
 can you visit him in person, tell him how your sister was messing with your head and you regret your decision to be influenced by her?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you both for your advice. I probably should have added the reason my sisters such a big influence on my life is because our mum passed away when we were younger and ive always looked to her...and im also at uni now and living with her at the moment. Though with that said, I thought about what you've said and your right. Although she's an important part of my life, the main thing is its my life and at the end of the day it should always be me making the choices that affect me.I tried to call my boyfriend but he just diverted me to answer phone then turned his phone off completely so i dont know what to do. Im worried that he's taking this a a break up break up and i've damaged our relationship even more now. I really just want to talk to him and tell him how i feel but its clear he doesnt want to talk to me now :( . I hope i havent ruined everything.x.x
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 March 2011): its your happiness here, not your sisters, if he makes you happy then thats all that counts. I know what its like when others who care about you give their opinions and it starts to mess with your head. Your sister who obviously loves you should be happy for you no matter who you are with if she can see you are happy. Maybe its her you should talk to or have a break from. Unless there is something troubling you about your relationship then I say be happy with who you love and call him.
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A
female
reader, fishdish +, writes (1 March 2011):
she can't live your life, YOU need to live your life. If the relationship ultimately is not good for you, you will figure that out on your own time. Tell her that you respect her opinion, you KNOW where she stands on your relationship, and now you just want her blessing because you want to be happy and you are happy with him, and she should be happy for you.
I have to say I feel for you though, some people might say you broke up or got confused for bad reasons, your love should be stronger than your sister's opinions, but i've had my mom do this to me too, it really screws with your head, particularly when it's coming from someone who knows you basically from birth. go with your gut and your heart.
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