A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes: Ok on vacation i met a close friends brother that is now staying with her at first glance i liked him alot.then days went by ididnt see him well one day we had a bbq and he was there well all my cuzins their gfs a friend his sister him and i decided to go out.we did had a good time.then my last day there he asked for my number i gave it to him and weve been talking ever since.ad thing is my aunt doesnt want me with him because of his past.hes been locked up used drugs and had a child.my aunt says ill only get hurt.but i really felt a connection with him and i love talking to him.but this is driving us nuts because we want to be together and she doesnt approve.idont know what to do follow my heart.or listen to my aunt that only wants whats best for me???!!!
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female
reader, hijacked_dignity +, writes (30 June 2009):
I wouldn't follow what your aunt says or what your 'heart' says. Use your head. You know what will work out and what won't. Logic will tell you either way. You can always take what your aunt says into consideration, but in the end, it's up to you. What she says does make good sense. I mean the guy already has a kid. Is that something you are willing to put up with? This probably means that he is in constant contact with the ex that is the mother of the child, is that something you can tolerate? How about the fact that in a way, you are going to have to become the ultimate baby sitter for this kid that isn't even yours (if the guy does take care of his own child). It's a pretty hard concept to wrap your brain around, because it can be overwhelming. The entire drug thing is a bit scary too. Is he still into that scene? If so, then I would follow your aunt's advice. Stay away. He's definitely not worth that heartache and influence. So basically you have to weigh your options. Take your emotions out of the decision and rationalize. Only you know the details to this situation. Just know that given most of the things this guy has, he's got a lot of baggage in tow.
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