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female
,
anonymous
writes: Hello all, a fast response would be appreciated, im 19 and i have been talkin to a guy on the net but my mom doesnt approve so i havent told her yet and he asked to meet to talk and he wants to be friends. The bad thing is its in two days and i dont know what to tell my mom, cause i still live with her. Do i tell her the truth or tell a lie til i see if the friendship is possible. Thanks
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2005): You arent going to procreate with the guy.Go meet him with a friend somewhere.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2005): Don't lie to your Mom, dear. You are 19 years old-if others are saying...you are an adult-then start behaving like one. Your mother may be upset and disapproving of your behaviours..because she might be seeing her daughter making a poor choice that can and will affect the rest of her life. I think it is time to sit down with her, take a deep breath and tell her what's happening. I suggest you talk to her...because it sounds like your heart wants to connect so badly, that you may be lacking judgment about 'love' relationships. Has this occurred in your life before? Has Mom and you locked horns over your poor judgements in the past? Was she right? This sometimes does happen, when one's emotions overrule better judgment. I recommend you listen to the counsel and judgments of people who care for you, a person like your Mother can offer guidance and wisdom. You need to pull your relationship together with your Mom..and keep it strong.
If Mom does not approve of your online activities...then it's obvious that this is a rule in her house. As a 19 year old woman...there is a time when adult children need to make their own way. An inability to follow the rules of the home is a first, very good indicator. Perhaps it's time for you think about making your own way in the world...if Mom's rules are too constricting and you feel you still have to LIE to her. Or you can respect her and just come clean about the activities she disapproves of which is going on right under her nose, in her house. She may not like what you are doing but if you want to meet this guy...then just assure her...you will do it as safely as possible. Perhaps suggest that she could possibly meet him. Compromise is the key...but please, don't lie!
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2005): ITS DODGY!!! Why does he want to talk to you in person? You talk online... cnt he hear ur voice? yea...talk on the phone then...
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A
female
reader, Phyrekiss +, writes (7 December 2005):
 Being dishonest isnt always the best answer concerning your parents, but if you truly think this guy is a nice one, make sure you meet him in a public place, and then afterwards, if you like him still tell your mother you met him there. You wouldnt be lying, because after all, you did meet him there.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2005): You are an adult. This is an adult decision. If you don't think you are up to making it, then you are too young to be seeing this mystery man. You have a right to your own life, but you also owe your mother some respect because you still live with her. However, she cannot be expected to like all your friends, and seeing this guy platonically to see if you have anything really in common is not asking too much. Do you have to account to your mother for all your time, and every move you make? If so, why? Mom has to let go sometime, too. It is time for you to be grown up and make your own decision.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2005): Listen to your Mom. Most guys meeting teenagers on the net are not what they say they are.
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A
female
reader, Mirabell +, writes (7 December 2005):
 The question is: why doesn't your mom approve? Is he some lecherous aging gangster? Or does your mom simply not like you dating? You can tell her now or wait for her to find out--which she will if this continues. It is almost impossible to hide that kind of thing forever if you live with her. Regardless of whether you tell or chicken out you should DEFINITELY leave his name or a way to find you with one of your friends. And don't be dim--meet him in a public place.
Moms worry for good reason, some of the time.
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