A
female
age
36-40,
*ayla20
writes:I've been apart from my ex for 1 year now we have a 2 and a half year old son together and my ex has cared more about partying and drinking instead of seeing his son even when we were together.iv given him plenty of chances to see his son and he always lets me down not turning up or calling and if he does call its a ridiculous excuse, therefore i have stopped contact as the last time he saw my son was two months ago and i warned him if he let him down again he would not be seeing him again.his recently contacted me about seeing his son saying how he has distanced himself from certain people and has stopped drinking and is able to think straight now and wants the chance to be a proper dad and support his son (hasnt in the past) financially and help out as im nearly due to give birth to my second baby with a new partner, however he has said all of this before. my son doesnt know my ex and i dont want him getting confused and being let down again.my friends have suggested allowing supervised visits and others have told me its best not let him see my son and see how much he contacts after being told no because then il truely no if he has changed or not but i just want to do best by my son and need a few opinions.
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female
reader, Angzw  +, writes (10 March 2010):
Yes you should let him see his son supervised for the first 10 visits at least. But your son should not be told who he is yet until he has proved being reliable. To tell your son this is his dad only to have him abandon him again is very damaging for the child. If you don't want to involve the government perhaps you can drop your son at your mum's on visit days. Its not easy but you should never stop a child from seeing their father, warts and all. But he has to prove himself reliable first. Later on if he has kept his promise then he can take his son for a couple of hours. Later maybe weekends too. Just try and put aside your personal feelings; its difficult when you have been let down before. But this is in your son's best interests.
A
female
reader, jaime90  +, writes (10 March 2010):
 Yes you let him see his son, he is making the effort now. his actions were not justified before, but he didn't know what to do, he wasnt around his son and didnt know how to be a father, but now he wants to learn how so give him a chance. the boy will always be his son and he needs to get to know him
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A
female
reader, happy24birthday  +, writes (9 March 2010):
 Let the dad see his son. Supervised visits sound good. Is it possible for the 3 of you to go out to eat and/or to a park or playground? That way Dad gets to see his son, and your son still gets to go out if Dad doesn't show up.
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