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Do I have to tell someone the stupid stuff I did as a kid if we're in a relationship?

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Question - (25 March 2012) 5 Answers - (Newest, 26 March 2012)
A female Canada age 30-35, anonymous writes:

Hey everyone.

When I was kid, and a younger teen I did some stupid stuff, that I regret, it's nothing serious, just stupid stuff.

My question is to have a serious, long term, intimate relationship, do I ever have to mention the stupid things I did as a kid? Or can I go the entire relationship without mentioning it and have everything be fine.

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A female reader, Honeypie United States +, writes (26 March 2012):

Honeypie agony auntDefine stupid stuff?

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A male reader, anonymous, writes (26 March 2012):

Yeah it depends on the definition of "stupid stuff." What does not bother you might bother someone else a whole lot.

I think the important thing is not to fool anyone. Don't tell lies and don't be purposely misleading. If you don't want to tell the truth about something then just say you don't want to talk about it.

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A female reader, Blonde68 United Kingdom +, writes (25 March 2012):

Blonde68 agony aunt

Hey, unless you are a mass murderer, don't beat yourself up about it! If you have got yourself on the straight an narrow, that is all that matters now and good for you.

If you meet someone, you don't need to tell her on the first date. I went out with a guy who was a naughty boy in his younger days, and as we talked more and more he told me about it, but I could see that he had turned his life around and that was all that mattered to me and it wasn't my place to judge him. I felt safe with him, and he was honest and loving, and for me that was enough.

Everyone has a passed, so as long as you have learnt from your mistakes and you are now a good guy that is all that matters.

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A female reader, AuntieRI-RI United Kingdom +, writes (25 March 2012):

I'd honestly say, tell him dollface. Maybe he'll laugh along with you, but they say you should share everything with the person you love. If you are so 'Intimate' with him, he'll see the past as the past and just shake it off. - Erina. 3

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A female reader, supermum United Kingdom +, writes (25 March 2012):

supermum agony auntIt depends on what exactly this 'stupid stuff' is. If it involves sex, or criminal records, then I would always bring it up.

If you are on about stealing 50p from your parents, wetting the bed when you were ten or sucking your thumb until you were 15, then I doubt you have to spill the beans.

If you care to mention what exactl you did, we will be able to answer better.

You should ask yourself the question 'Would I be ok if my partner hid these things from me?'.

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