A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes:Why am I not over him?I recently broke up with my boyfriend of almost 5 years we lived together for almost the entire time, My head tells me leaving was the right thing to do so I did, He was very cruel he would say awful things and constanly cheated so one day I got up and left, I did a make over, moved out of state, enrolled back in school and picked up my peices, so I thought but I can't seem to move on. I still cry not every day like I use to hurt every day and every day he crosses my mind, I miss him and I don't know why as he was terrible to me, I hate myself for it. It's been almost three months and I feel like a fool because I feel like I should have been able to shake this off by now and he was so horrible to me that I can't understand what I miss but I do miss him and I still love him and I check my email every day and my phone praying he will call. Maybe he can change ? He wasn't always that way. The sad thing is I think if he wanted me back I might go but he made it clear when I left he couldn't care less and his exact words a month after were "I don't give a f*** about you and in ten years I still won't give a f*** about you. Do I have some sort of abused woman syndrome? A friend told me I do.
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female
reader, AskEve  +, writes (11 November 2008):
 You don't have abused woman syndrome at all. You were together for 5 years, you were used to one another and shared a life together, now that's gone and you miss the company and are finding "singledom" hard to adjust to, that's perfectly natural. Your relationship was an unhealthy one as he treated you cruelly and cheated on you constantly... and now you feel alone, left to pick up your life again without anyone. Everything you feel is perfectly natural.
Listen to me, as long as you keep thinking of the past and watching for his emails and listening for the phone to ring praying he will call then you will NEVER get over this guy. HE'S NO GOOD FOR YOU! You sound a wonderful person with a good head on your shoulders. You made a strong decision to move out of state and you know in your mind it was the right thing to do. You are a strong woman and you CAN and WILL get over this as soon as you close the door on him. Tell yourself you don't need him and it's his loss that you're gone now then go out there and hold your head up high! Join a gym, meet new friends, enjoy your new found freedom! Once your state of mind changes then everything else will fall into place. Trust me, you'll see I'm right. (winks)
~Eve~
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