A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:So I'm 17 and technically I'm still a virgin but medically I am not, meaning my cherry's been popped. And lately I've just been wanting to have sex and I don't really want to be in a relationship or have it be special at all. I just want to do it. I'm single by the way.And I've been having strange fantasies about one of my friends who I don't wish to have any sort of romantic relationship with. Like I've dreamed about him several times and it's so weird because I don't wish to pursue him at all. And I have this boy who I like who has a girlfriend and this other boy who I've been in love with since about the 2nd grade but somehow subconsciously I'd much rather do it with my friend who I have nothing but platonic feelings for. It's so strange lol. What do you think this means?
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (20 November 2008): Funnily enough I feel I can really relate to you in this situation. Largely in part because I felt a lot like you do up until 2 nights ago. I'm 20 I've been in short relationships and "hooked up" with people no small number of times, but I had never actually had sex. There was no real reason for it I guess... I wasn't really waiting for anything. I just never felt like taking that step so to speak. Finally 2 nights ago I decided what the hell in a situation that was very obviously just more about the sex than any real under lieing feelings.Now I don't feel particularily one way or the other about the situation. Maybe down the road I'll kick myself for it, but really I think I had just been building it up in my head for years. There is a girl who I really do like right now, but some how I felt more comfortable getting it over with a stranger.Anyways I'm not preaching anything one way or another, I just thought maybe my story would help a bit, your decisions and how you feel about are completely based on how you look at the situation. The person who regrets an act and the person who are glad they did it could have done the exact same thing, they just took different perspectives in looking back on it. How will you look back on it?
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks i totally see what you're saying but
i don't want to do it just to say i did it
because anything sexual i've ever done i never
told anyone just my bestfriend so it's not about
that for me and i'm not afraid of him using me
because i'd pretty much be doing the same to him lol.
and the one that i've been in love with has been
in and out of my life romantically for the passed
10 years and we have feelings for each other but its
always either the wrong time or something so it never
works out and the guy i like used to flirt with me like
crazy but stopped when he started dating his current
girlfriend
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionthanks i totally see what you're saying but
i don't want to do it just to say i did it
because anything sexual i've ever done i never
told anyone just my bestfriend so it's not about
that for me and i'm not afraid of him using me
because i'd pretty much be doing the same to him lol.
and the one that i've been in love with has been
in and out of my life romantically for the passed
10 years and we have feelings for each other but its
always either the wrong time or something so it never
works out and the guy i like used to flirt with me like
crazy but stopped when he started dating his current
girlfriend
...............................
A
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008): It sounds complicated! Maybe it's just pure sexual attraction to your friend, maybe you trust him more. I don't know, but please don't just lose your virginity just for the sake of being able to say you've done it. Wait until you're in a loving relationship. I'm sure it'll happen soon - go out and meet new people. Spend more time with the guy you love and see if you become attracted to him. If not, then spend more time with your friend - your feelings for him may change. However this can be potentially dangerous as if he doesn't feel the same you could lose the friendship. Do either of these guys have feelings for you? Perhaps your attraction to your friend stems from his feelings towards you.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (11 November 2008): i don't think it's odd but i wouldn't recomend doing it with a friend or someone you don't care about that much. i had a boyfriend i didnt care about that much and he rushed me into it. now it makes me kinda sad when i hear my maytes planning their first time. and if you and your friend have a sexual relationship sometimes your friend could take advantage of this and use you.
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