A
female
 ,
anonymous
writes:My mum looked at my bf's facebook and had some very negative things to say about it. This has caused me to have so many doubts in our relatiosnhip.She critised alot, such as how the majority of his friends are girls, he has photos of himself snuggeling up to pretty much every girl hes ever met, his main default profile photo is of him and this girl who has a crush on him. He also has alot of other girls sending him comments to his profile calling him pet names, and signing their messages 'xoxox' etc...My mum was shocked to see all of this. And although sometimes it does make me feel a bit upset and insecure, isnt this just normal for todays geneation on the internet to do those things? I knwo so many guys and girls who do that, and although it seems inappropiate to my mum, isnt that just because shes from a different generation?I guess what im wondering is, do i have a reason to worry, or is my mum just being old fashion with her views? By the way I am 19 years old and so is my bf.
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female
reader, Emilysanswers  +, writes (10 March 2009):
Yes but YOU have told him that as his GIRLFRIEND it bothers you and you think it IS flirting.
If he just doesn't care about what you are feeling then he doesn't care about you.
Tell him you want a man who wants YOU and not just another girl to boost his ego. If that's not him then he can bugger off and find some other girl to torture and walk all over her feelings instead.
In my opinion, when you are in a relationship, as soon as you find someone has a crush on you then you have to stop seeing them.
Good Luck!! xx
A
reader, anonymous, writes (10 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI dont know how he knows all of them, but I know that quite a few in particular he hasnt even met before. Me and my bf live in different towns, and when he visited me last he met alot of new people, and so did I, because we went to a birthday celebration of a friend of mine. Anyway, he hunted all the girls down at the celebration on facbeook and addded them. He also added other people from my town that he has never met, and neither have I. I asked him why he did this (as these are some of the girls he flirts with), and he said theres nothing wrong with being friendly and hes just networking.
He doesnt see what he does as flirting I think. Alot of there girls that he flirts with, the pictures hes snuggeling up with girls etc as his default pic, are girls that he KNOWS has crushes on him. He told me they do. And he tells me he doesnt lead them on and once he realised they liked him be ptu a stop to it....but I still see him hanging around them, encouraging them by the things he does on facebook etc. But once again, he doesnt see any of that as flirting.
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): Did he meet these girls in real life first and then added to his face book? Otherwise I think you dont have to worry that much. It is indeed a norm online. Many people dont take online stuff that seriously. They consider it like a virtual world existing in their fantasy.. imagination. So anything goes there because in their view it is just harmless fun with no feelings involved.
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (9 March 2009):
A lot of people have male and female friends, a lot of people put pictures of them and their friends on facebook.
BUT it is all about respect. If my husband has pictures of him and some of his girl mates up on facebook that would be fine, if he was cuddling them and putting them up as his profile picture I would be unhappy.
I would also be unhappy about them leaving him very flirty messages as if he's flirty with them and they are flirty back then he's leading them on.
You don't act like that around someone else's boyfriend unless he encourages you that it's fine.
If you are bothered by it then he should respect that and I really don't think he does.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionWow, I am honestly suprised by your answers. I see alot of guys and girls doing these things on facebook when they are in relationships, so I was honestly starting to think it was the norm for our age. It doesnt sit right with me though. I would prefer he didnt do all that...
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (9 March 2009):
It really depends on his personality and your level of acceptance.
If he has always been like this, was like this when you met him and you are fine with the fact he's obviously not that in to you and you are just one of his girls and not his ONLY girl then it's fine. That is just the nature of your relationship.
If you are desperately hoping he will change and be yours and only love you then I think your mum is right.
You are clearly not his first priority, and having fun with a lot of girls is. He's just not into having one girl and respecting all the limits that come with that.
If you want a guy who only has eyes for you then go out and find one. Your current boyfriend is obviously a bit "open" when it comes to loving women.
Good Luck!! xx
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A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (9 March 2009): Why does your bf want his main profile pic to be of him and another girl, and not of him and you? I personally don't like it and it would set off alarm bells for me. I don't think your mum's being old fashioned. I would think she's worried for you. Don't ignore her completely because I think she's probably talking some sense here.
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A
male
reader, Cowboy254  +, writes (9 March 2009):
They may just all be friends of his but parents like to bash myspace and facebook for some reason but I'd just talk to him honestly and tell him how you feel about him just don't get angry or upset with him just tell him how you feel and if it doesn't workout then you weren't meant to be
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