A
female
age
41-50,
*ngel255
writes:I am struggling to come to terms with how i feel about other women. I have known how i have felt since the age of 11 and my family have often joked about me being a lesbian, when i was 16 and at college i developed a huge crush on a female lecturer and thought it would be okay to confide in one of my friends. Trouble was he told the whole class and they took the micky out of me and told the lecturer i was then banned from her class and she wouldn't talk to me. Which hurt a lot, i have never shown interest in men at all but have had boyfriends but never had sex with them as i felt it was not for me. I also have another friend who i would like to tell bv she is homeophobic as are my uncles who said if i was ever gay they would beat me up. I feel attracted to women and have told my mum who was sort of hurt by it and feels like it is her fault. I have never had a strong male role model in my life as my mum had me when she was 15 under difficult circumstances and my sister said this could be part of why i feel the way i do what do you think?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 August 2009): I see you have already had many replies to your 'problem'. Firstly i do not believe the way you feel has aything to do with your mum. Think about it, there are thousands of gay people in the world. Most born into straight relatioships, tv is almost all straight, magazines are nearly always about straight people and yet we still have gay people.
I'm unsure how old you are as you say when you were 16 a friend told a teacher you had a crush on her and you were banned from that lesson. I must say that teacher was obviously an idiot fancy banning you for liking her! Then it says your age is between 22-25.
I'll going to tell you exactly what i told my daughter when she was upset about fancing girls. You have nothing to tell as you do not have a girlfriend. If you're gay so be it, but, apparentely many people have crushes on someone of the same sex when they are younger. Or like me, you go years without even knowing, i was 32 when i first started having feelings for women. I thought i had some hormanal imbalance. I can now say 7 years on
. I am happy loving women and wish i'd been young and relised this kind of loving was there. What ever happens babe the most important thing is you're true to you and don't live your life for what other people want.
A
female
reader, Angel255 +, writes (1 August 2009):
Angel255 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionYou know foxieness im not even sure if i am happy im all so confused, it is like a big mashed up mess, i have told my mum but she blames herself, my friend i cant even tell her because she will ignore me and tease me. There are times when i am okay with how i feel and times when im not. My mum keeps saying she is always worried people beat me up for how i feel.
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A
female
reader, foxieness  +, writes (1 August 2009):
dont worry its fine that u r if it makes u feel anybetter i feel that way to but i never thought bout why til now but the way i see it it realy doesnt matter unless ur happy well keep at it girl im rooting 4 ya =^-^= i ish kitteh lol but ya as long as ur happy that what should realy matter right? r u happy this way?
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A
female
reader, gRaa +, writes (1 August 2009):
 if you want to be a lesbian, be one. it's not up to other people what you feel like and what you want to be, by saying you shouldnt be one, is descrimonation *sorry, i cant spell* it's your choice not there's. Know what im saying?
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A
female
reader, Emilysanswers +, writes (1 August 2009):
There is a huge debate on whether being gay is "caused" by DNA and is decided before you are born... Or whether it is the way you are brought up.
It's thought that if it was the way you were brought up, it would be something that could be changed. And since no one can change a person's sexuality, Scientists are now pretty sure that if you are gay, it's just the way you are designed to be.
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/magazine/3258041.stm
About half way down it says that a doctor who used to try and "cure" people of being gay, tracked down all of his former patients and not one of them was hetrosexual.
If you like women, then you like women.
If your uncles threaten you with violence then tell them you will call the police and have them done for harassment.
It sounds like you live in a very narrow minded community. If you lived in a city then you would find lots of gay people who are perfectly happy and normal.
If your troubles continue at home then you may want to consider whether it is worth staying there to be miserable.
http://www.queeryouth.org.uk/community/
Here is a website to get you started. Do a quick search on google and you will find lots of girls with exactly the same problem as you and you can find out how they found happiness.
Good Luck!! xx
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