A
female
age
51-59,
*m9576
writes:Very complicated. I have been dating a married man for 2 years. When we first met things were really good. He works in my home town and lives about 7 hours away so we were able to be with each other a lot. His work schedule is 3weeks on 1week off. He moved in with me about 2mths after seeing each other. We fell in love, I met his whole family including aunts, uncles, cousins, grandparents, I have stayed with his parents and sisters many times. 5 months ago I had his baby. And of course he kept telling me he was leaving his wife and that he never was in love with her, he married her because of his children he has with her (3). He has always spent every holiday with her, so I asked him to just spend New Years Eve with us. He told me he couldn't that she was coming up here to be with him. Well I found out he lied and just wanted to party with his buddy, that has caused a lot of problems in our relationship, the buddy wants him to be single and a drunk like him. Everything was awesome in our relationship until this buddy of his. So I broke it off with him because of the lie, I just felt like he wanted to party and be with other women. After I broke it off with him I called his wife!! Don't know if it was the best thing to do, but I did. We talked for 2 hours, she found out about me about 6mths into our relationship. She has called me a couple of times but I told her nothing. Well this time I told her everything, that we went to Hawaii with each other, and that the affair had been going on for 2 years, she knew about our son together, she knew most of everything I told her. Except for the fact that we were still sleeping together, he told her that we were together only once this year.She thought he had never seen his son, when in fact he was there when he was born along with his family. She just didn't want to believe it. She was hurt and I felt horrible. She told me she knows he does not love her, and he tells her he loves me. She had just decided to share him because she didn't want a divorce. I guess since we both were willing to let him have his cake and eat it too. He was going to continue living this way!!!! I have 2 other boys that are older 16 and 9 he was so good to them and they really liked him. He always promised that if I had his baby he would be with me forever!!! STupid me believed him. Well now his wife told him about our conversation like I thought and didn't care. I got these nasty text messages from him telling me I was a B* and ^%, and a C*@$, and that I ruined his life, and that he never loved me he just used me and that I am just a whore and so on and so on. In our 2 years together he has never ever called me a single name, so this shocked me. Well his sister called me to find out what was going on and I just told her I am tired of his Bull crap and his lies. And that we are over. I am trying to be strong, but I miss him terribly, I really did love him and still do!! He spoiled me, he bought me stuff all the time, took me on vacations, he was perfect I thought, but was also married. I know I am stupid for believing him, but he also told his family and all his friends that he was getting divorced and that we were going to be together. My problem is that I still want him and am having false hope that now that his wife knows everything we will actually be together!!!!!
View related questions:
affair, cousin, divorce, drunk, fell in love, married man, moved in, text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 January 2008): DUSKYROWE NAILED IT!
Get over it sex was different with you but there was no love he realize the woman he truly loves he cant be without that is why he is back with her...if he loved you he would of never called you what he did I truly believe you were just a sex buddy for his self-esteem. And now that his wife took him back he loves her more he probably did not beleive she loved him and therefore went out to have an affair to make her jealous..it sounds crazy..but this guy really seems like he has esteem problems..But I believe he truly is happy with wife now he knows she would take him back even after an affair....You sweetie will have to move on ...get your child support and realize what goes around comes around there is a reason people get married so they stay together..Get your own man..lick your wounds...because you knew this was wrong...
A
reader, anonymous, writes (2 January 2008): Gee! What can I say,as hlskitten'e advice is right-on. Even God knew what Infidelity would do to Family and friends,and there will always be deep emotional scares that both of you will have to live with,you moreso than he,as you loved with your heart,and he loved with his genitals without any commitment,and that's call outright,pure "LUST". Your break-up is much like a death in the family, and it will take you about two years of going through emotional pain on your way towards emotional and physical wellness. Please! Don't rush intoanother affair. Just learn from this Emotional-Affair. And start your healing by relearning to love yourself once again.
...............................
A
female
reader, duskyrowe  +, writes (2 January 2008):
 Sorry to say this, but What goes around comes around. You broke up a family to be with a jerk, who has very little regard for anyone but himself. Now you know how his wife feels, when he is away from you he is doing exactly as he pleases. Its his wife, children and your son I feel sorry for, they are the only victims in this little charade you have with this man. If you think I am being harsh on you, its because you went with a married man and expected everything to be rosy in your family unit. There are plenty of single and available men out there, so why go with a jerk who treats you with no respect. This guy wants his cake and eat it, surely you are mature and grown up enough to see that? You are in your 30s and not some silly littl naive girl, you should known better not to get involved with a married man and expect him to be this loving, loyal and caring man. He is a RAT pure and simple.
...............................
A
female
reader, hlskitten +, writes (2 January 2008):
 Hi
What a horrible man. Sorry but he sounds disgusting. He moved in with you after 2 months and decieved his wife and children for so long. What kind of person can do that?
Thats what i would be asking myself, and after i have spent all of 5 minutes doing that i would then come to the conclusion that i had lost the plot the last couple of years getting invloved in a relationship with a scum bag with no concience and run like mad as far away from him as possible.
I feel for your son, he deserved a better father but you cant turn the clock back. Blokes (and women for that matter) dont leave their partners if they havent within a year. Thats fact i'm afraid, not made up.
You were luckier than most wronged women, because you gained a beautiful son out of this mess.
I would move on now and enjoy being a parent and give your attention to those little people that deserve it, not that immoral reptile.
Good luck.
C xxxxxx
...............................
|
