A
male
age
51-59,
anonymous
writes:I get close to a woman three months ago, i find out she has an ex she claims she cant get rid of, he is threatening her and nasty to her. See says she doesnt know how to deal with him and tells me she is frightened for me to so she thinks on a couple of occasions its best til she sorts her mess out as she describes it before coming back to me. I help her and advice her how to stop her exs behaviour, which based on my advice it does, he backs off.She invites me for a run and during the run she says if it hadnt been for the problem with my ex i could have easily fallen in love with you.This sort of shocks me, is she saying she cant now, or is she saying she may now?? Where has this come from?? I took it to mean its been ruined ??
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (13 March 2012): Just bad timing, if you had met her a year or so from now all could maybe be good.
She does like you, but appears to have moved you to 'friend' zone. Either be just a friend or back away and date others.
Could be in time she will be ready for more, just have to see how it works out really.
A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465  +, writes (13 March 2012):
 Sounds like you've got yourself a "drama" girl, there...
I'd keep a comfortable distance from her until/unless SHE makes the "move" and becomes "available" (without qualification)... and reveals THAT to you....
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A
female
reader, AuntyEm +, writes (13 March 2012):
 Her life sounds complicated at the moment and she isn't able to move foward with another relationship. If you try to get involved too much, it's going to end up as a big mess.
I would back right off, tell her you are going to date other people but if she ever gets her life sorted out she can give you a call then.
People do this all the time, try to move on too quickly when they haven't dealt with the past. There is nothing you can do for her as you have already offered advice and she is still confused and giving mixed messages.
By saying 'I could have fallen in love with you but...' Really means 'I am not going to fall in love with you'...if she has to even think about it...it's not going to happen.
Back off, go date other women and if she sorts her life back and come to you as a serious potential, take it from there.
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