A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:hello! im not the most attractive person out there, and im aware of this, so please no one take my question as a conceded one.. i get alot of guys approaching me, all of the time, and i dont do anything to initiate it, i dont think.. it seems like no matter how nice i turn someone down, they become bitter towards me. if im super nice about it, they keep pressing it, and if im blunt, they dont care to be a friend or anything else anymore. when im in a relationship, other guys will ask me if id consider being with them next, or if im single, guys seem to think i need to get hitched immediately! i have a lot of guy friends, girls dont seem to like me, im not sure why.. and all of my guy friends are basically only my friend because they have a crush on me.i recently started a job at a factory, which means theres a ton of guys and only a few girls. i dress like a tom boy at work because the last place i worked at i was overly sexually harrassed by the old men there, and i didnt want that to happen here, i take work serious! but apparently thats not doing the job either.how can i turn down a guy in a respectable way? in a way that says "im not trying to crush your ego, im just not interested, or im not that way(meaning easy)" and what am i doing wrong when it comes to lowering the amount of guys who approach me? i know you guys dont know me, or see how i interact with people.. but any advice that would do the job for any girl, would be greatly appreciated.
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female
reader, eyeswideopen +, writes (13 March 2012):
 In the 70's the hare krishna guys were everywhere, malls, airports, bus stations, I mean everywhere and they wouldn't take no for an answer, so I just told them I was either Jewish or Catholic (whatever was my mood at the momment) and they would leave me alone immediately. Something along those lines might work for you, you have to figure out the details tho'.
A
female
reader, So_Very_Confused +, writes (13 March 2012):
 IF it's EVERYONE that you deal with then the only thing that's the same is YOU... so you need to look at what you are doing or saying or wearing or whatever it is that's making them all ask you out and when you says "thanks I'm flattered but I'm not really interested in getting involved with anyone now".
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A
male
reader, Sageoldguy1465 +, writes (13 March 2012):
 I'd say there may well be TWO issues involved....
The first is your open and overt "appearance".... which means your deportment, attire and your words... THEY may be "just right" to inform a potential suitor that you are not interested. (For example, "Tom, I like you, too, but think that we just aren't meant to be an item.")
The second might be the unspoken/subtle/intangible "messages" that you send. By this, I mean, do you have comely posture?, do you exhibit gestures that a guy might misinterpret? Do you engage in talking about subjects that guys might - predictably - interpret to mean that you are se*ually available?
I'm not suggesting that you are a "tease".... but only that we guys will sometimes "read" messages that women don't have any intention of "sending".....
Of course, sometimes, you may find that you have to go to the edges of politeness in order to clarify for a guy that you just aren't interested in him...
Hope this helps...
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