A
female
age
41-50,
*emima123
writes:Do I follow my heart or my head?I was coming out of a relationship which I was not happy in and it had been 2 months, I started going out with my friends having a good time when i kissed a mutual friend of ours.I am a hindu he is a muslim. I didn't think anything serious of it at the time. Anyhow we kept seeing each other went on holidays together. Ive been with him almost two years. I am 26 he is 23.Anyway throughtout the relationship he treated me badly, his male muslim friends would take him out get him drunk, he would flirt, talk to girls. I found out recently that a year ago he cheated on me and kissed a girl at a party we were both at and then came in and kissed me. He is a hypocrite to his religion and culture. He always involved my friends and sister into our problems talking about me behind my back. With his mates he has gone to strip clubs, and on holiday to Cancun for a "good time". Now after hurting me so much and losing a baby together he says hes changed. Hes become much more religious and says he just wants to be a good person as I tried to end it so many times.Hes treated me bad...noone i know wants us to be together, so im still having this secret relationship with him and now my dads passed away and he even hurt me in this hard time of my life. Life is really hard. He wants us to get married. He wanted me to have an islamic wedding and convert which i refused point blank. I a more of an atheist. But his family are strict and may disown him.I love him...i am in love with him. Sexually i feel good with him. But i dont know why I love him, why hes still in my life after everything he's done. and especially the hurt hes caused me since my dads passed away. I know he never says or does things deliberately but he cant help hurting me. But then I see how much he loves me and that hes distressed and trying to treat me the way i want but he cant stick to it. I think maybe cuz hes immature and young still. But he knows right form wrong surely? The main thing stopping me saying yes to marrying him is his religion. As ythis is a major reason he is such a hypocrite. He has stopped drinking as its a sin but sleeping with me still??? and that's just one example.My head is so messed up, i just want to either leave him for good or be with him. I feel like I need him in my life. I feel good when hes around but the minute he leaves i feel crap and all alone. But I try and keep everything good but then thoughts and his words or actions make me hate him. I keep going round in the same circle. Do I follow my heart and stay with him...or my head and say goodbye? But i dont know how to say goodbye. I just dont know what to do anymore....
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atheist, cheated on me, drunk, flirt, immature, muslim, on holiday, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (31 October 2008): i know how strong are you re feelings above him when there s love you can t listen and do any of the advices you are told about love is sacrifice and dignity and behavior does THIS points exist in your relation? not all the love stories ends in getting married think of your misery future life with him it s clear that he doesn t love you who loves you support you in your bad time love is sharing feeling and that is much important than having sex maybe he needs having sex that s why he s with and his cheating you will never know what i am talking about until you find someone better who does realkly respects you this one deserves you to be his wife gd luck
A
female
reader, HelenaB +, writes (31 October 2008):
Listen to your head. Hearts are great but they do mislead you sometimes. This man has hurt you! At a time when you needed him most with the passing of your dad. I am not doubting he loves you in his own way but you are young and I apologise I do not know alot about the religious element but I think you deserve better.
Any pain now will pass and you will find a better, happier life with a man that loves you.
Imagine if you had had children together and he carried on hurting you?
Go for it girl, that head is a good strong one so listen too it!
Good luck!
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