A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:I am in a dilemma,my boyfriend cheated on me with his ex girlfriend and now she is pregnant.The girl, my boyfriend's ex, will have the baby. This girl sent me an email detailing that my boyfriend is being horrible to her and that he doesn't want the baby.I am still scared of the outcome.i love my man so much but am in a great dilemma at the moment. And i am scared of what might happen in the future.our marriage has been planned for the end of the year.His parents are saying my man should take responsibility and if i still want to continue with the relationship,they will fully support us.my boyfriend wept when he was apologising to me and said he has never felt the way with anyone, the way he feels about mewhat shd i do?should i continue the relationship or break it off.
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cheated on me, ex girlfriend, his ex, wedding Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
female
reader, Orbiter  +, writes (2 May 2011):
"shd i still give up on him when i feel so connected to him?"
Are you willing to be cheated on again? Are you happy to accept that you love and care for him more than he does you? Are you willing to take the risk of marrying him when there are already strong warning signs that he's a selfish person who when things get tough will either leave or cheat on you? Are you happy to deal with everything surrounding the new baby or will it start to get to you?
Try to look beyond your hormones (or feelings) and answer these honestly. If your answers are no break it off, if yes then go for it but don't be surprised if it doesn't go well.
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (2 May 2011): But i still love him.am so much in love.am so happy with him.am based in nigeria and he's based in de US.wot more,ive been visiting him and he has been visiting me down here.too.shd i still give up on him when i feel so connected to him?
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A
female
reader, Sugarbuns  +, writes (1 May 2011):
 So I'm assuming your b/f admits that this baby could be his even without a paternity test. The next question you must ask yourself is this: Are you prepared to share you life, and your man with this woman and their child? Because there's no escaping it now. The courts will force him to support this child and he will no doubt want to have visitation rights. Can you handle that? Because if not, now is the perfect time for you to bail out and frankly you have the right to do so. He cheated on you. Do you honestly think he can ever be trusted? You will have a constant reminder everytime you see that child. And it will drive you nuts every time he goes over to his exes house for a visit. To me, it's not worth it. You should pull the plug and leave them to it. He made his bed. Now he can pay for it too.
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A
female
reader, lovehelper123  +, writes (1 May 2011):
 What makes you so sure that he won't cheat on you again? What happens if you are married and this happens again? Won't you feel horrible? Just break it off now. It is better to break it off now then to wait 2 years and find out he did this again. Don't you agree?
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A
female
reader, Orbiter +, writes (1 May 2011):
Break it off.
- He cheated.
- He is as much responsible for the baby as the ex girlfriend and yet he's being horrible to her about it all, not supportive and not even just distant. Do you really want to settle down with someone like this? He comes across as being an incredibly selfish, uncaring person. Let's hope he's not like this with you in the future.
- Stay with him and you too will to some extent be having to deal with the problems (e.g emotional an financial) a new baby brings with it. His ex girlfriend will always be around too now so I hope you don't mind them having more 'alone' time together.
"my boyfriend wept when he was apologising to me and said he has never felt the way with anyone, the way he feels about me"
Anyone could say this sentence to you, especially if they have something to gain. It doesn't mean it's true. Actions speak louder than words so keep in mind that despite having 'never felt that way about anyone other than you' he still cheated.
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