A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hey, Need some help with a fairly awkward situation with one of my best friends.This last weekend, I went away home to my parents house for the entire weekend. On the friday night, my other flatmates had a big party - which I was ok with, no biggie. One of my best mates went to the party too cos we're all a really close knit group of friends. On the Saturday morning I got a text from her saying she hopes it was ok but she had slept in my bed the previous night because she was too drunk to go home and hoped I didn't mind. I didn't mind. I wished she had phoned me and asked - I would have said yes! - but accepted she was probably too drunk to phone. I told her it was fine, hope she had a good night, blah blah, see her when I get back.Today I've come back to my flat and although my bed is made, it was obvious someone had been in the room. A lot of my stuff on cabinets had been knocked over. Nothing broken, but some papers I was waiting to file away on my cabinet had been knocked and scattered to the floor and it took me ages to put them all back in the right order. I was a bit annoyed about that cos some of them were crumpled and they are for uni so are kinda important to me, but again just thought - ok she was drunk, accidents happenThen I go over to my bed and notice all the pillow cases have been taken off my pillows and I find them on the floor behind my bed and am like what the f*ck? Whilst I'm at the bed, I also find a used condom and condom wrapper... obviously someone, likely her, had sex in my bed too!!! I know the condom is defo 100% not to do with me - I'm in a long distance relationship and I sure as hell don't cheat on my bf. So it's certainly not mine! I'm so pissed off with her it's unreal. Sleeping in someones bed without asking first is one thing, as is making a mes in their room, but having sex and then leaving all the evidence is really going too far and is really disrespectful. This girl is one of my best mates and I'm really disappointed in her.On top of that, I did some asking about with my flatmates and apparently she dissapeared in to my room with her ex bf who is a MASSIVE twat. So now I'm in the position of being torn between being angry at her for doing something so disrespectful, and being worried about what the hell she is up to sleeping with her ex. She doesn't even know I know she's slept with him again! He is a horrible manipulative person and it's taken her months to get over the mental abuse he dished out to her when they were together.What are everyone elses thoughts on the situation? I'm really stuck for what to do? Do I confront my friend?
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (7 December 2009): Ugh, that's terrible. It's bad enough that she had sex in your bed, but for you to find the condom is even worse!! I would definitely talk to her about it. If she says it only happened because she was drunk, maybe she shouldn't be getting drunk anymore if that's how she acts.If I were you, I'd also look into getting a new doorknob with a lock, so you don't have to worry about your room ever again.
A
male
reader, CaringGuy +, writes (6 December 2009):
I have to be honest, I would confront her. I think it's good of you to be worried about her, and please don't stop worrying. But I think you need to put her in her place about having sex in your bed, which is out of order. I would suggest you simply say that you found a condom wrapper in the bed, and found your room in a state and ask her what she thought she was doing. If she's that good a friend, she will be apologizing very quickly. It's great that you're such a nice girl, but don't be too nice that you get used like this. Yes, confront her and tell her never to do it again. She had no right to do that.
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