| A
female
age
41-50,
anonymous
writes: I snooped when using my boyfriends ipad and saw that he had been messaging a girl who has already caused a massive issue in our relationship, what should i do?So been with my boyfriend 2 and a half years almost no issues. In the beginning i was aware of exs etc and he was still friends with one but it made me uncomfortable because she still had feelings for him and was very vocal about it so he cut all contact about a year into the relationship he met up with her and told me about it a week later. He told me he met up with her because her sister was unwell. I think he only mentioned it because i asked if he ever heard from her and he told me they'd met up. Anyway he acknowleded it was wrong and wouldn't speak anymore. She was hounding him with texts and phone calls so he sent her a text which i saw saying he didnt want to see or speak to her again and it was a mistake meeting up.Eighteen months of loveliness later, im using his ipad whilst he's out and have an urge to look at his messages! I know its wrong.. I didn't read what they said but there clearly in respose as i saw the first line said yeah i agree. But it doesnt matter what is said its the fact hes talking to her. What should i do? Confront him even though ive been snooping which could ruin all trust or try and leave it and see if he says anything? Please help
View related questions:
text Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
reader, anonymous, writes (5 November 2015): You're worried about ruining his trust in you when he has betrayed and lied to you? Yes, I'd confront him. He'll probably just give you a lame story. Met up with her because her sister was ill? Right! He's carrying on a relationship with her behind your back. It's plain to see.
A
female
reader, Mina_Bhamji  +, writes (5 November 2015):
 See if he says anything, if he doesn't confront it. If anything, she could've been confiding in him about something, cause it seems as if they have that relationship since he went to see her cause of her sister being unwell. If he doesn't say anything in the next couple days, confront it, but do it smoothly. For example say "Oh yeah btw I was on the iPad the other day looking at something and a message popped up from your ex. Is she ok? What's up?" In that sense he can see that you've not accused of him of anything so he will be more likely to open up to you. Then let him know sharply, that you want to make sure there isn't any more contact between them cause you don't like it all. Be sharp. But smooth. He might be more willing to listen as you didn't accuse anything and you've given him the chance to explain.
...............................
|
