A
female
age
,
*ixedup2
writes:I am so confused.. I am married and have been with my husband for 8 years, married for 1. I have been fairly happy I really do have a good life and I do love him but I also have an ex husband who has come back on the scene, we have been meeting for the past 4 months and I love it! He was always the love of my life and I believe my soul mate, he gave me everything I needed inside myself, we split after having a couple of bad years, illness, teenagers, and he got another woman pregnant. I am wondering to myself why I don't feel the pain that I felt then now? why am I begging for him in my head? would I give up my marriage and my very good life if I had a choice? for I know through loss that things do not make you happy and I would live in a shack with the basics to be with him! all I know is that I am so confused and I don't know what I should do?Do I end it and then give up what is making me the happiest for he has given me such a new lease on life and this pain I feel happens when we have not had any contact for a while (a week) or carry on the affair and be stronger and accept what it is or hope that things will change? But it takes 2.Please help me!!!!!
View related questions:
affair, my ex, soulmate Reply to this Question
Share |
Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (27 January 2011): you should do what makes you happy , there is only one life that we have and if you feel great with your ex you should stick with your ex and feel great , than to stick around with a person who cares less and does not make you feel so great
A
female
reader, mixedup2 +, writes (23 January 2011):
mixedup2 is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you to you ALL! it is what I know is right, I was happy before ex came back into my life... I am now just another one his affairs but I got confused with how I felt about him, I still loved him when we split, the only thing that is sooo different about my relations with both is that the ex gives me something i need so deep inside, physically that sort of feeds me emotionally (hard to explain)my husband IS a wonderful man but different - which i guess is very good. WE do have a good life and I have never ever been unfaithful to any partner I have had which is also probably part of my heartfelt sickness!!, yes it is time for a reality check and no matter how much I don't want?? my ex out of my life, my life is definately better off without him in it!!!! thanks again.
...............................
A
male
reader, mattstermind  +, writes (23 January 2011):
 you should definitely stay with your current husband i am 99% sure you will regret leaving. judging by the way you explain it your ex isn't your "soul-mate". i believe you are just confused because you cant see your life from the outside. you should stop communication with your ex and instead just take time to yourself to think on your current relationship and your life itself. that way you can think from other perspectives.
,good luck.
...............................
A
female
reader, anonymous, writes (23 January 2011): first off, he is your EX husband. You divorced for a reason, remember?? Remember the pain he caused you, especially the part about him getting another woman pregnant?yet you did once feel in love with him that's why you had married him.I think what you're feeling now is what you felt at the beginning the first time round. the things about him that attracted you to him and made you want to marry him, are still there. And since a lot of time has passed (at least 8 years) that you have not actually lived with him and had to deal with his crap, you have forgotten all that crap.if you get back together with him, what do you think will happen? Don't you think the pain will start all over again?and you're also married to someone else now. This isn't fair to your new husband. You say you love him and have a good life with him. So, why risk destroying it, for someone whom you had already long-ago divorced for a reason?
...............................
A
male
reader, CJH  +, writes (23 January 2011):
 An affair is one thing, going back to guy full time another....Its a shame youve decided to cheat on (your words) "a good man" - that should be the thing you focus your attention on rather than "what if" with your ex husband.The thrill of meeting for sex secretly and living a double life is clouding your vision right now and you seem to have forgotten a few things:That marriage ended for good reasonsYou married your husband and enjoy your life with him because its right.You need to give yourself a reality check and put a stop to what youre doing before you get caught and lose everything. Has the ex said he wants to be with you full time again? Like I said, an affair is one thing but being with that person full time is a very, very different story.Aside from all of this, both you and the ex have shown that you are unable to be faithfull to one person. Dont you think that if you do get back together that very fact will drive you nuts? Youll never be able to trust each other will you?Cut your losses now and get back to living a normal life rather than this dream which could easily become a nightmare.
...............................
|
