A
female
age
41-50,
*ichelle123
writes:My boyfriend has 2 young (2yrs old) twins with his ex gf. She still lives in his house, in a separate bedroom ofcourse, because she cant afford to live on her own and was unemployed for a while and he supported her in regards to buying her a car, paying for her medical aid, paying for car services and personal expenses. She has however in the last 6 months been employed,l but he still pays for all these things. When I have questioned it, his reply was that its for his kids, because she need to have a safe reliable car as his kids are always in it. I can understand that, but what I cant understand is how him paying medical aid etc for her personally benefits his kids, when I stated that, he said he was actually thinking of taking her off his medical aid and telling her that she must start paying her own car installments. He has told me that although they live in the same house for the benefit of the twins because they are still so small, they barely speak to each other. He has also told me that she knows that him and I are seeing each other and that she doesnt care what he does or who he is involved with. My problem or question is that if that is the case then why does she break my stuff if she finds it in his car and further more why does he always give her what she wants. When I asked him that, his response was that she is a very tempremental person and when she doesnt get her own way she always packs up and dissapears with the kids and he never knows where they are or how his kids are. I love him very much and he loves me, there is no question about that. I want to know do I break up with him untill he sorts outs out his living arangement or do I stand by my man and support him during this tought time he is going through. I wish he can just get her her own place because he can afford it. What must I do?
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female
reader, tennisstar88  +, writes (14 October 2010):
 From your post, I understand where he wants his children to be safe, however if he could also get sole custody of the twins to ensure their safety. She could move in with her parents or relatives until she gets back on her feet. The only thing he should be paying for is anything having to do with the twins..medical bills, and some form of child support. Now that she has a job, she is perfectly capable of paying her own car payments, her medical bills, and any other personal expenses. But why move out when he pays for it all??
You this scenario could be true, if so and he wants to continue to pursue you then he has to clean up his home. She's a grown woman and capable of standing on her own two feet, I just don't think she wants to get out or totally remove him from her life. Sounds like a very dependent woman, then again she is the mother of his two children so she will always be in his life. Or he could be full of crap and they could still very well be together. This situation is rather messy, before he got involved with you he should have asked her to leave...so you can have your relationship in peace. I would do as sexlessintheuk said and take a "break". You don't want to be anymore in this drama than you already are.
A
female
reader, CindyCares  +, writes (14 October 2010):
 If he can afford to get her her own place - why doesn't he just do that ?
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