A
female
age
36-40,
anonymous
writes:Hi. Well rhe story is my boyfriend who has on occasion because of drink and drug problems hit me and been very aggressive. Due to my loyalty towards him as he was a friend and I helped him of off heroin, I can't seem to leave him to self destruct. I'm am 20 and know I could have a better quality of life. Because of his medication which he takes because he broke his back and his leg - he can't have sex and we havemt for about three months now. I feel frustrated and any attempt at talking to him about it turns into a blazing row because he doesn't like to talk about it. The other night I was talking to a guy who lives with my friend. He's sweet and kind and gives me compliments and I have rejected his advances. But the other night my boyfriend and me had a big row he was calling me names and being really spiteful and it really hurt me. He said I don't appreciate him when he lives off of my money and sits around doing nothing all day while I spent my time dreaming about being more than I am and pursuing my creative pursuits. This other guy and me got talking and he made me feel better about myself when I told him I felt I'd never acheive anything. He said I was beautiful and talented and all the things my boyfriend tells me I'm not. He leaned forward and kissed me on the cheek and I kissed him on the mouth and we kissed for ages. I then pushed him away saying I couldn't do that to my boyfriend. I feel bad but the kiss felt really right and for the first time in two years I felt special and I felt a rush of excitement that made me feel great. What should I do? I like the other guy but I wouldn't do anything more without really thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend first. But do I break it off and leave him to definetly self destruct or do I stick at it and help him out of his problems so he can be the sober man I remember. Am I really wasting my time on something that can never change or at least is unlikely to while failing myself?
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female
reader, BlondeBabe x +, writes (1 December 2008):
 The question is do you still love your boyfriend ?
If yes then stick by him and help him get better IF you can see a future.
If no then thats it answered follow your heart, he is making you feel unloved and the other guy is. You are looking for some love and attention and want to feel like a woman again.
I dont know if you have a future with this guy as if he lives of your money he may be holding you back.
But its your choice no one can tell you what to do you need to decide for yourself.
But think abou that question do you still tuly love him, or do you love the memories of the man he used to be.
Good luck
A
reader, kayla  +, writes (1 December 2008):
 Sounds Like we are having the same problem right now. My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 4 yrs. He has had a drug problem for almost 3yrs. He went to the out-patient rehab. It worked for a little while! Then he started hanging out with his drug friends and he is back on the stuff again. He told me that it was something that he would always struggle with and that he wouldn't quit until he was ready. He stopped telling me things like he use to like I'm beautiful and all that stuff. He made me feel like he didn't want me anymore. And one day back in September I started texting one of my guy friends that I went to high school with. Just to see how he was doing. And out of the blue he told me that he had been thinking about me a lot. He wanted to meet me somewhere so we could talk in person. So I did not thinking about what was going to happen. We met the next day. He told me he loved me and that we had been waiting on me for 5yrs to be with me. He said he would wait for as long as it took. He told me things that I had been wanting to hear for along time. he made me feel like I was loved. Everyday since then we have talked and he tells me everyday how much I mean to him. But for some reason I cant let my boyfriend go. Its so confusing to me. I don't know what to do. Because of the old saying don't leave the one you love for the one you like because the one you like will leave you for the one they love. I probably haven't been much help to you. But if you have any ideas on my situation please write me back.
Lots of Love,
Kayla
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