A
female
age
26-29,
*uperboredtoday
writes: Okay so I'm going to start with the fact that I'm 18 weeks pregnant by my ex. However I still haven't told him and I know that's it's a little messed up but when I texted him about two months ago asking him if we could meet up and talk he texted me back saying that he was in a relationship with his ex and that she gets very jealous and he doesn't think that would be a good idea. I left him be and I was totally content with raising my baby alone until I reconnected with another guy, who I went on one date with and ended up not pursing things any farther because I met Gabriel. So t texhe second guy texted me a week ago asking me how I was doing and if I was single and stuff like that. Right away I told him I was pregnant but that I was also single and he said that he thought I was beautiful then being pregnant doesn't change that. Then he asked me about everything that happened since we last saw each other and that very same day he messaged me he asked me if I wanted to be together and start a family with him. I said yes and we started being a couple but being pregnant my mood changes quite I bit and I find anything to argue and cry about. Everyday since we have started talking again I have found something to argue about with him and during that second argument through text he told me that he loved me. This scared me a lot because we had only met twice once when he first met me at the mall and the second when we went on our first date. So after he sent that text I didn't reply back for a few hours and he texted me again asking what was wrong. I replied asking him how can he love me we barely know anything about each other and he just said because he does. I just let it slide and every time he said it I just kind of change the subject without saying it back. Two days ago we had a another big argument because before I was using a TextNow number to text him because I didn't really know him and I didn't want to give him my actual number but finally I did start texting from my phone number. When I did start texting him I didn't tell him that it was me and we kind of had a conversation without him knowing who it was then he finally asked who i was and I sent him a picture of me. So after I sent him the pictures he sent me a text message saying that he remember the face but that he doesn't remember my name and then after that I sent him a text message saying really do actually not know who this is are you joking this is are you joking. He sent another message saying that he was in a car accident and it messed with his brain or something so I was like okay whatever bye. Then he sent me another message saying please don't go I'm sorry I'm being serious and then he called me and he didn't recognize my voice (even though we talked like for an hour the night before) so I finally told him hey it's me and and hung up on him. He started texting me and call me about it saying oh baby I'm sorry I love you you just look so different I haven't seen a picture of you or we haven't seen each other in a while please forgive me. We fought about this all day because in my mind he was wanting this other girl even though it was me. After a while he just stopped replying to me and I got scared because I didn't want to be alone anymore so I sent him text saying I love him even though I don't. After I sent him the text we just dropped the argument and just kind of moved on. We met that night and I ended up spending the night and while he was asleep his phone kept going off (he is a deep sleeper). It was keeping me up so I finally just grabbed it and tried to put it on silent but I was doing that I know that the notifications was from Tinder and OkCupid and POF and then there was Facebook messages from a girl saying that she wants to see him for Christmas and that he's going to be her Christmas present. That made me sad so I just ended up leaving without telling him. The next morning when he woke up he started calling and texting me asking me what's wrong. When I brought up the messages he said that he doesn't know who what I was taking about and that he doesn't even go on those sites and anymore. Then he finally said that I'm just trying to find reasons to break up with him because it's basically the same thing everyday. So now I'm here asking does it seem like he really love me or even really want to be with me?
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female
reader, ova-valentine  +, writes (1 December 2016):
 I agree with Aunt Honesty. You need to focus on yourself and your baby and YOUR life, and you need to tell your ex you are pregnant. You've said that you're comfortable with this and with raising your baby alone. If your ex is willing to help you raise the baby or be involved, great. If he isn't, and creates drama about not wanting to be active in your family, tell him that you are okay with that and that should ease the drama on that part.
Now, onto the new guy... if this man loves you, he wouldn't have Tinder or any of these dating services AT ALL. If he "doesn't go on them anymore," why is he getting notifications? Also, the "car accident" was obviously a lie/cover up. If he is lying to you about a serious thing, like not knowing your name, that's not a good sign of his character. He shouldn't have lied in the first place. He should have told you that he was sorry first, instead of assuming you would believe his (ridiculous!) lie.
You're pregnant, and you're at an age where you need to focus on your life and your future, and being both at the same time can add up to a very stressful time in life! If this man is creating MORE stress and drama for you, you don't need and shouldn't want any more! You need to focus on your own needs and your baby. From what you've said, this guy isn't someone who makes you happy or who seems to truly love you.
Dio Benedica and good luck.
A
female
reader, Andie's Thoughts  +, writes (1 December 2016):
 Please be responsible: don't think about guys right now; you're not single, you're about to be a mother - if you're going to keep it, stop focusing on guys.
Tell the ex. He deserves to know.
Tell your family, if you haven't already.
Get support. Save up. Start preparing.
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A
female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (1 December 2016):
 No sweetie he does not love you. He doesn't even know you. He is talking to so many girls that he did not even know you from your picture. You are vulnerable at the moment so please do not let him take advantage off you.
First off you need to contact your ex and tell him you are pregnant, even though he is with someone he still deserves to know that he is going to be a dad. Secondly you need to ask your family for support. You don't need to do this alone. However meeting up with random guys over the internet is not a good idea, you need to think about your baby now.
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