A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Hi All,This is more regarding a friendship relationship but hope you can help! When organising my hen do abroad I asked who would be interested then set about arranging details for my friends who said yes. Before booking I continuley reconfirmed. Unfortunately one friend had to pull out due a family tragically with a relative being unwell and the time used for my hen would now be focused on her family, which is completely unstable. Her friend as also pulled out because of finances and because I guess wouldn't go without the other. Again I understood even though it has increased the cost for the rest of us because I initially booked larger accommodation. However, I have now seen on social media that both are travelling long haul with other friends a couple of weeks before my hen! Not sure how to feel about this other than hurt, and wheather it's feasible to ask for the remaining deposit from the friend? Thank you Reply to this Question
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female
reader, aunt honesty  +, writes (16 March 2017):
 I doubt they will give you the remaining money if am being honest. It is unfair that they pulled out on you and are not travelling with another friend. Yes I can understand why you are hurt. They are not real friends. Either see if you can change accommodation or else just tell the others why the price has went up and leave it at that. I wouldn't invite them to the wedding either.
A
female
reader, Ciar  +, writes (11 March 2017):
 I doubt very much you'll see any kind of reimbursement and in fact I suspect both will be quite defensive about it.
I suggest you cut your losses with these two then demote them to 'acquaintance' status permanently. You can be formally polite with them if you happen to cross paths but otherwise they're no longer part of your social circle.
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A
female
reader, MissKin  +, writes (10 March 2017):
 How irritating. I'd just ask them why they can't go to yours but can go on this other thing. The response might tell you if you need new friends. You can ask them for the deposit but if they were good friends I feel they'd have offered already.
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A
female
reader, Youcannotbeserious +, writes (10 March 2017):
 Well, you can always ASK, but it doesn't mean you will get the money. However, depending on how strongly you feel about this, perhaps you could mention it to them, explain how it is put added financial burden on the rest of the party and ask them if they could contribute. I don't hold out any great hopes of you getting your money though.
P.S. I assume you mean "understandable" about your friend's family situation, rather than "unstable"?
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