A
female
age
,
anonymous
writes:I met this girl in a strange way, actually in a business setting. Now all I think of is her and anticipate our next meeting. The problem is I ve been attracted to females all my life. I ran from the feelings afraid of what people would say, fore I am also a woman. Now I have a grown daughter who is not open minded at all. I know this woman is a lesbian and I know she is in a loving relationship. I do not want to interfere with that at all, Love is to scarce. I would love to say for my daughter's sake this is the first time this has happened but it is not. My question is do other people feel this way? Do I act on my feelings being attracted to women or stay the way I am alone, for the sake of my daughter. I know if I do stay alone my life will be but a sad one but I do not want to loose my daughter either!
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (6 November 2008): Test the waters. Brings up the topic with your daughter. Mention lesbians. Ask her what she thinks about it. Ask her what she would think/do if you were a lesbian.
Just to provoke the thoughts, and test the water, check the reaction.
You have raised your daughter. She has a life, but so does she. You are an adult, and she has to accept your decisions. You are her mother, she has to accept you for who you are.
A
reader, anonymous, writes (19 October 2008): I told my daughter that I have feelings for my best friend and that we dont know where the relationship is going but that I also felt like this all my life..She said she loves me no matter what that she is ok with enything I do..I was surprised because I swore she would not accept me being bisexual.My son just jokes and says 'you are gay" get away.. and my youngest doesnt care..she is 14 and she loves me too as I am.. So I say just take the chance and tell her or kinda hint it...
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionThank you for the encouragement.
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2008): Perhaps you are underestimating your daughter's compassion. She may be more openminded than you think, at least I hope so. Children grow up, move out, get married, ect..and they lead their own lives. Aren't the parents allowed to do the same? I think its sad for you to be alone just because you think your daughter might not approve of your lifestyle. Maybe its time to have a heart to heart with her, and express that you don't want to hurt her, but you are lonely and would like someone to be with. I'm hoping that she will understand, even if she doesn't approve. You can't live your entire life for your daughter, you already raised her and its ok for you to want some happiness. Good luck sweetie, I hope it all works out ok. Let us know ok?
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (18 October 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionwe have had many talks about prop.8, gay marriages and adoption. She is so anti it is beyond rude. I have a son that appears to be gay, (at this time he has not said either way) and my daughter beleves he is gay and hates him, truly calls him names wants me to have him move out to his father's. I have an older adopted daughter that I have confided in and she tells me, just be happy. My daughter never use to hold anything against anyone, very open minded but in the last 4 years it has just gotten ugly. I just do not want to be like have my cake and eat to, at the expense of my daughter.
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A
male
reader, eddie  +, writes (18 October 2008):
 I think you should find love. You can not live your life for the sake of your daughter's feelings. You too deserve to be happy. How do you know you'll lose your daughter?
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