A
female
age
30-35,
anonymous
writes:Does he fancy me?I have known this guy for 4 years and over the past couple of years we have become good friends, especially in the last 6 months.He has always had mostly female friends and so is comfortable around us all and the more he seems to know someone the more he feels comfortable touching them. He has become integrated into my group of female frineds, however there is always a marked difference about the way he acts with me and with the others. He has a couple of female best friends of his own and although he touches them when they are around, he is not as touchy feely with them as with me.When we sit down he will occasionally hold my hand and he often stands behind me with his chest against my back and his arms around me whilst resting his chin on my head. He also sometimes cards his fingers through my hair and the other day when we had been split up when clubbing he gave me a massive hug when we were reunited. Also, over the last couple of months he has started calling me 'sweetheart'. Many of our friends (and even some people that don't know us very well) think that we have chemistry or that we actually are a couple but when my best friend asked him if he was attracted to me he laughed it off and said 'no' and when other people mention anything jokingly about us being together he tends to ignore it.Thus, I am not sure how he actually does feel.
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best friend, clubbing, split up Reply to this Question
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reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, thanks everyone who replied, your responce has been great and I will take some of the things you said on board and see what happens:)
A
female
reader, sexi suga +, writes (1 July 2008):
hey i was recntly in a similar position but honestly the best thing to do is just ask him. what i did was i sent the same messages back to him. eg when he gave me a hug i gave him a kiss on the cheek. i played in exactly the way he played it. when he would run his fingers down my arm i would run my hands through his hair. And well eventually it did lead to something more without me even sayinng anything. So hey its worth a go
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A
male
reader, Danielepew  +, writes (1 July 2008):
 If YOU love him, go for him.
Signed, someone who has loved and decided not to go for the person. And regretted it.
What do you stand to lose? If he doesn't like you, he's going away anyways...
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI would rather wait for him to make the move as I am more of a 'traditional girl'. If nothing happens I will accept that especially sinse university looms so we will be separated then.
I understand that he may do nothing but I figure that there are advantages and disadvantages both for getting together and just staying friends.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI think after hearing what everyone has said I will just wait and see what happens because like I said earlier, school has finished now so if school was why he didn't want to do anything then he will have the opportunity now and if not then I will just accept his friendship for what it is.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionI can promise you oldersister he isn't gay. She turned him down so they never went out although he has had another girlfriend which lasted 6 months and he has done other things when drunk to prove he isn't gay (not that it needs proving as never in 4 years has he in anyway done anything to make me think he was gay).
Also, if he is just my friend I wouldn't want to create any boundaries between us to stop him hugging me etc because he in himself is a physically warm person when you get to know him so as a friend I wouldn't want to freeze him out, especially sinse if nothing happened between us I wouldn't mind him doing it because in general I can be touchy feely with my female friends so don't see the point in preventing 'friendliness' just because he is of a different sex.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionHi, I was going to add this before but didn't think it important, although some people have now seemed to question the speed at which things would have developed if he was attracted to me.He did say to me once that he wouldn't go out with anyone who he went to school with as he asked someone once and when she said that they were just best mates and she didn't want anything more,it all got complicated and they had a massive arguement which was all over the school and which was never reconciled. My friend thought that this may have been the reason why he said that he wasn't attracted to me but I am still unsure as to whether this is the case.However, we have just took our A Levels and so school has just finished for us.
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reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): This is verified as being by the original poster of the questionJust for those who questioned it, no he isn't gay, I am certain on that. And we have done things like gone out to the cinema, town and restaurants, but that is more on a friendship basis like I would with a female friend.
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (30 June 2008):
 this question has caused me to wonder if he is gay? he has many female friends, he is very affectionate to you and them, and his general behaviour possibly points to the fact he may be gay. have you ever seen him dating, kissing, with other girls? why not suggest going to a movie together or something? easy because if he does like you then obviously he will want to, if he's gay he'll want to also but will keep his distance. suggest a chick flick with a really hot guy in it and his reaction should say it all.....! if this doesnt work then throw caution to the wind and ask him if he's interested in you. wats the worst that could happen?! email me and let me know how you get on x
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female
reader, lotus mama808  +, writes (30 June 2008):
 First, have you ever known him to have a girlfriend? Or maybe too many? Just trying to eliminate any possability that he may be gay, or a player. I always tell people who arnt sure if their crush feels the same way about them that the best way to find out without creating any akwardness is to drop settle hints. topch hoim back, look for his reactions. Find time alone with him, tell him you think he is adorable,"I'm shoked you dont have a girlfriend! The ladies must swarm you!" Listen to his response. Of course, if he is gay, well, your responses will be obvious;)
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female
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): he fancies you but trying to play it cool
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