A
female
age
30-35,
*ritneyL
writes:i have a mental block that prevents me from coming during sex or fingering, i can come no problem from oral or masturbation...when my bf fingers me it feels amazing and he knows just how to hit my gspot, but when he goes at it for a while i get the sensation that im going to pee, i know that im not though, but it feels like it. and then my brain like stops me from coming. how can i get past this mental block? hes starting to think that hes doing something wrong but its me..
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fingering, g-spot, orgasm Reply to this Question
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Fancy yourself as an agony aunt? Add your answer to this question! A
male
reader, no_issues  +, writes (1 July 2008):
 A great Taoist teacher once said: "It is a foolish woman who, having a boyfriend who knows how to make her come every time, tries to get him to do something else instead."
(I might be paraphrasing.)
A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (1 July 2008): hmmm. I'm kinda an "Agony Uncle" - being a guy. A pretty experienced guy too ( small cough.) Try either of these things. 1. Join him while he's in the shower. Just climb in, smile invitingly - wickedly? - and proceed to soap him down with your hands.(Small female hands are SO exciting.) Everywhere soap him down. Then ask him to wash you down. When his hands get to soaping your vulva, push against them a bit. Maybe with a soft "OH". Play with him a bit, & get him interested in taking you. But also, while he's touching you, tell him what you've learned you like best. Circles? Firm stroking? Teasing, soft slow touching? Directly on your clit? (And, has he actually located your clit?) If you began to feel you might pee, who cares when the shower is pouring and pounding on you? He can position you facing away & bent over a bit & be inside your wetness in a jiffy. My other suggestion? Talk to him. "I want to cum when we have sex but I'm afraid to?" When he asks why, tell him of your possible pee problem. Then put several thick towels down on the bed & put your hips on them. If you DO pee, it won't matter so much. ( And I've had gf's who had that happen to them. All great lovers.) And if he's nervous about the possible problem, kick him to the curb. He's not worth it. You deserve to enjoy yourself.
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A
female
reader, O Connor  +, writes (30 June 2008):
 when your boyf does stuff like this to you - do you feel conscious or anything? do you start to overthink and get distracted? you need to relax and concentrate on how enjoyable it can be. the other thing is that your techniques are obviously different - you may have become very used to the way you touch yourself and just find it different when your boyf does it. i would definitely not take the advice of faking an orgasm - its dodgy as you can get used to falling back on that and end up not enjoying your sex life! but i think that your problem may just be that you're not relaxed enough when he is doing it to you. email me if you want hun xxx
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A
reader, anonymous, writes (30 June 2008): Just focus on the fingers and the way they feel and the amazing feeling you are getting from it.. why don't you practice with your own fingers... pretend like they're your boyfriend's fingers and go through the whole process and if you think you are gonna pee just continue (since ur alone anyway) and go through with it till you come.. and when you have come, you will see that u din pee and so when your bf really does do it to you, you don't have to worry that you might pee. If all else fails.. then I guess you can just fake the orgasm till you get over the feeling- just to make sure your bf doesn't think he's doing anything wrong.
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