A
male
age
36-40,
*nadin
writes: Hiya guys and galsfor the last couple of weeks i have been doing some self reflection, my gf left me a few weeks ago, i loved her loads, but however, i am slowly accepting my loss and accepting her as a friend instead. - this isnt the issue however.My ex - henceforth "friend", before we broke up, often moaned and got upset with me for never being able to relax outside of my own bedroom, it took me ages to relax with her, more so than i normally do...when someone else is present i apparantly tense up and look uncomfortable, she said that it made her feel uncomfortable and unable to relax herself (this came up when we did break up). i wasnt aware on a consious level that i was never relaxed...mum always said its a perpetual shyness, nan used to say, before she passed on, that its a general anxiety disorder.i dont really want to be either of those, so how do i learn to relax, not tense up, seem unnaproachable, unable to converse properly... go out and smile properly, not force a smile and learn to "have fun" in the conventional sense?iv never really been a confident person and just sort of convinced myself im content with the things i do and have. if you have questions, dont be afraid to ask them :)
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male
reader, anonymous, writes (12 October 2010): i think some Cognitive Behavioral Therapy could be helpful for you. Anxiety is common in many Britons and can be dealt with easily. Talk to your GP. You may suffer from minor anxiety and eventhough you deny it, the breakup may have altered you somewhat mentally (with no disrespect).
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