A
male
age
41-50,
*upid Boy
writes:That's what it seems like. How come if a girl joins a dating site, within a couple of days she'll be flooded with more e-mails than she could ever reply to... but if a guy joins, he could send out two dozen e-mails and still get no replies? How come something like 90% of all breakups and divorces are initiated by women, yet 90% of marriage proposals are given by men? How come women complain more about being hit on relentlessly than about not being hit on enough? How come the girls I encounter at the low end of the ladder (overweight, nerdy and unattractive) all have boyfriends, while many guys who should be in the average range end up alone?All I can think of is that guys must like women much more than they are liked by women. It explains why a guy who shows no outward interest in girls is seen as gay, whereas a girl who shows no interest in guys is just normal. Guy magazines are filled with pictures of what they desire: girls. Yet women's magazines have virtually no men. They also bash men more than the other way around. I hear this routinely at the office, on TV, on profiles, in blogs, everywhere: "Men are pigs," "My husband's a moron," "If he doesn't treat you like a queen, then dump his ass," etc. My mom complains about and puts down my dad way more than he does her, despite his being completely faithful for 30+ years. This seems typical throughout Western civilization today.Ok, a quick glance at Craigslist for my city shows that in the "strictly platonic" classifieds section, there were 27 ads from men seeking female friends in one day. That compares with TWO ads from women seeking male friends on the same day. Again, these were the strictly platonic ads, meaning they weren't even looking for sex or romance at all.The "supply" and "demand" in this "marketplace" is so imbalanced, it's insane. Like how do some guys become desperate enough to pay $1.99 a minute just to talk to the opposite sex over the phone? You will never ever see a woman doing that. Growing up, I just assumed things were more or less equal between girls and boys. Why would the human race be designed any other way, right? Then I'm kicked in the face by reality. Men like and need women but women don't really like or need men. At least that's how it appears, that's what they keep saying. Tell me if I'm off-base because it's all starting to depress me. It keeps me from approaching girls because deep down I truly believe they don't want to be approached and it would be nothing but harassment. :-(
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male
reader, Cupid Boy +, writes (3 December 2010):
Cupid Boy is verified as being by the original poster of the question Thanks. But for once, being told I'm right is not what I wanted to hear!
Just wish real romance was like movie romance. Things seem more equal in movies, and even a character who looks like Anne Hathaway can be lonely, unlucky in love and just looking for a caring guy (whereas in real life, she'd have stalkers and a millionaire bf).
Definitely women would refuse to play the whole dating game if this situation were reversed. Maybe that's what I'll do... at least until I can fly to the Third World to find a girl who's not an entitlement princess or bridezilla but has actual values and respect. :D
A
male
reader, LovelessAct1  +, writes (2 December 2010):
You have to realize a lot of women still believe in the traditional ways of the man making the first move. Even in high school and college, girls would keep their crushes and fantasies a secret and let it be the man who puts his neck out there. Yes, times have definitely changed, but based upon romance movies and novels that are still being made, the portrayal of man as the dominant figure in initiating the first date is still very prominent.
Ever go on anonymous flirting websites? There are tons of girls posting things about their crushes, and it far outweighs those of the guys posting. Girls tend to deal with their love life in secret, hoping the guy of their dreams will get their flood of hints and show up at their door with roses. Its a longshot, and I think most of them know this, yet there is something that holds them there in that fantasy world.
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A
female
reader, xLittleMoo  +, writes (2 December 2010):
women dont 'like and need' the whole race of man, women 'like and need' that one man they consider to be special, the one that they desire. Men, however appreciate any woman who is vaguely attractive.
Extremely interesting point though.
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A
female
reader, Nime +, writes (2 December 2010):
 You have to understand a few things. Women's lib is relatively only a recent movement and still generating great momentum under its own heat. For the first time we are seeing more women graduating from college than men, more women holding a job than men, more women earning a greater income than men, more women getting promoted than men, more women working while their husbands stay home with the kids, and so forth. We are absolutely inundated with media messages about girl power, the working woman and freedom of female sexuality. More movies and commercials are depicting the husband in the family as a stupid oaf who never says the right thing and is incapable of choosing his own cereal for breakfast. If he ever thinks, he thinks with his penis. But more movies, commercials and songs are depicting women as unobtainable goddesses. I remember when I was a kid (I'm 24) the commercial slogan for Secret deodorant was "Strong enough for a man; made for a woman." A few years ago it was changed to "Strong enough for a woman." Get the picture yet? Unfortunately, as the balance between genders is shifting so quickly from men towards women, it is now quite unbalanced. Although women are now figuratively wearing the pants, we have not as a culture lost the "ladies first" attitude. Many women still expect men to do the asking out, the proposing, to give up their seat to them on the bus, to hold open doors for them, pay for dinner and all that is gallant. And with all the attention girl power is getting, through movies, music and education, many (not all) women are under the impression that they are a special item and men should be thanking their lucky stars for the chance to date them. Since sex is such a hot commodity for men, but (let's be honest) in general not to the same degree for women, women can afford to have a "we have what you want, so you've got to work for it" attitude. So you are right that more men want the company of women than women want the company of men, and that there is a lot of men bashing going on. I believe this is because it's a woman's world now, where men are the buyers and the price of a woman has greatly inflated. Men in general have always been attracted to that which is female, but women in general are inclined to those with power, financial and other. And as we've seen, currently many more women are in positions of power than men.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): This is not really an answer, but to be honest I think you have intersting point. I could just be that way, women are less interested in men than vice versa. Often there are moements where I find myself staring at my wife while we are watching tv or something, I find her so attractive and all I want to do is shag her at that moment, but I can't say the same for her! I have to do allot of effort to get her in thinking in the same direction as my self.
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A
male
reader, anonymous, writes (2 December 2010): yeah this is true because ive joined dating sites and hardly had any emails and a girl i knw joined and she had over a hundred in days after joining!
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